Abdullah's Counseling Thread

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Insaan
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Re: Abdullah's Counseling Thread

Postby Insaan » 11 Jul 2009, 00:28

SA

need some advice and help in this matter pls

i'm told it jamaat has kept conditions for those wanting to get married and this has to be signed by groom and bride

Do you know what these conditions r?

what if a bride doesnt want to follow them?

is putting this conditions even islamic? has any imam done this?
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Re: Abdullah's Counseling Thread

Postby sadika » 27 Jul 2009, 17:08

heard in nikah recitations conditions being mentioned
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Re: Abdullah's Counseling Thread

Postby Abdullah » 30 Jul 2009, 01:18

Insaan wrote:SA

need some advice and help in this matter pls

i'm told it jamaat has kept conditions for those wanting to get married and this has to be signed by groom and bride

Do you know what these conditions r?

what if a bride doesnt want to follow them?

is putting this conditions even islamic? has any imam done this?


Dear brother/sister

I have tried to get a copy of the said condition document

However, I have not yet received a copy of the same.

I am afraid I cannot advice you until I see the document.

Of course, if the bride/groom do not want the conditions they can agree to disagree to signing the conditions.
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Re: Abdullah's Counseling Thread

Postby abuali » 01 Aug 2009, 17:28

I have spoken to a party that recently got married.

They said that the document is blank and they are told to fill their conditions and sign it.
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Re: Abdullah's Counseling Thread

Postby Insaan » 08 Dec 2010, 19:49

Greetings

I have a friend in school with whom I hang around during breaktime n other free times.

All the time I see him flirting and making jokes with girls. Most of the time the girls also flirt in return and let him get away with things.

It's a tough situation for me cause I end up envying him for the attention he gets from the girls. I am confused in what to do. I am tempted to becum like him but sumthingbdoesnt feel rite
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Re: Abdullah's Counseling Thread

Postby Abdullah » 13 Dec 2010, 18:15

greetings dear brother

during the brief period that i have been counseling youths, the most common questions I deal with are related to the issue that you have described.

In 'modern' psychology we are taught that what the majority accept as normal and engage in, then that is ethical/good (i.e. cannot be bad or unethical), since majority have accepted it as norm.

That is why in many western societies you notice a drastic normality about things such as extra-marital relationships, boyfriend-girlfriend relationships, single mothers, indecent clothing, homosexuality and so on and so forth. It is no longer considered unethical based on this twisted thinking of modern psychology.

If you however refer back to the teachings of any of the great religions, you will always notice that the majority are always the silent supporters of the ones who have power and wealth. And those with power and wealth are almost always corrupt and evil. Hence historically it is the minority who resist the values of the majority that are usually right and ethical.

You seem to be in a tug of war and are unsure whether you want to go with the flow or resist and swim against the tide that surrounds you.

Generally only those individuals who have strong personalities and ethical values are successful in fighting the temptation. Those who succeed in distancing themselves from such a temptation are also the most successful in helping others in doing the same.

Your best way forward is to train yourself to fight the environment using your intellect over your temptation. Every time you feel that you want to do the same that your friend is doing, force yourself to think of the consequences of such a decision, both in this world and the hereafter. I am sure you have already considered the consequences which is evident in your coming out and asking this question.

Once you are certain about the evil consequences of joining in with your friend and the benefits of resisting such feelings, it will be easy to fight it since your intellect will guide your decisions and not the other way round.

I pray for the success of your struggle against your temptations.
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Re: Abdullah's Counseling Thread

Postby Insaan » 20 Dec 2010, 15:42

(jazakallah)

i feel better already [up]
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