Dear Guest
May Allah help you with the making of the right decision.
There is no doubt that it is allowed by Sharia for a man to marry upto four wives.
I believe that the matter that has been confusing you, and the thoughts that have brought you to ask for an advice, is much deeper.
There are a couple of things that both you and the man who has proposed marriage to you, have to consider.
For you, you have the following questions to ask yourself:-
1. How will your family feel about the marriage? Will it hurt your family/parents? Will they support it?
2. How will the family of the man treat you, once you are married to him? Will they come to terms with the second marriage?
3. Will you yourself, be happy with the marriage?
For the man, the ayat of the Holy Qur'an which choco.chip has quoted, tells him what he has to consider:-
Can he treat his first wife and you, both, equally?
Personally I feel this to be almost impossible. And if the man feels he cannot, then he should not marry you.
Hence, you have to first bring up this question to him. And make sure that he is absolutely sure whether he can treat you and his first wife equally. If he has doubts....
Secondly, if you are young, I believe you should think twice. If you feel that this man is the msot pious man you can ever get as a husband, then you should consider marrying him. Or, if you feel that it will be difficult for you to get married with anyone else apart form this man, then you should consider his proposal.
In any other scenario, you have to remember, that although this is lawfully allowed in Islam, it is not a must! Hence, if you can get a better, more pious man, and one who is not already married or is divorced or a widower, then think about it twice.
This is what I feel.
If you need us to consult with a scholar on your behalf, please email me at
hasin@ask.or.tz
Your query will be treated with utmost discretion.
May Allah guide us all.