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[manji2005]

Say What?


An elderly lady was concerned about her husband's
hearing. It seemed that every time she would call him,
he wouldn't respond. The lady went to the doctor to ask
his advice.

The doctor said to her: "Wen you go home, tell your
husband to stand at the end of the hallway, and you
should stand at the other end. Ask him what he wants
for dinner. Continue to move him closer towards you
until he responds to your question so you know exactly
how far away he is from you when he finally hears you."

She thought this was a great idea. When she got home,
she placed her husband at the end of the hallway and
yelled, "Herbert, what do you want for dinner?"

There was no response. She moved 10 feet closer.

Again she yelled, "Herbert, what do you want for dinner?"
No response. She moved another 15 feet closer to where
she was now practically face to face with her husband.

She yelled even louder this time, "HERBERT, what do you
want for dinner?!!"

Herbert yells back at her, "For the THIRD time, I want chicken!!"

[manji2005]

The New Hospital Wing


A panel of doctors at a local hospital who were asked to vote on
adding a new wing. Their responses are listed below:

The allergists voted to scratch it.
The dermatologists preferred no rash moves.
The gastroenterologists had a gut feeling about it.
The neurologists thought the administration had a lot of nerve.
The obstetricians stated they were laboring under a misconception.
The ophthalmologists considered the idea short-sighted.
The pathologists yelled, "Over my dead body!"
The pediatricians said, "Grow up."
The proctologists said, "We are in arrears."
The psychiatrists thought it was madness.
The surgeons decided to wash their hands of the whole thing.
The radiologists could see right through it.
The internists thought it was a hard pill to swallow.
The plastic surgeons said, "This puts a whole new face on the matter."
The podiatrists thought it was a big step forward.
The urologists felt the scheme wouldn't hold water.
The anesthesiologists thought the whole idea was a gas.
And the cardiologists didn't have the heart to say no.
The HMOs killed it, anyway.

[manji2005]

Toothache


The Smiths were shown into the dentist's office, where
Mr. Smith made it clear that he didn't want to spend
a lot of money.

"No fancy stuff, Doctor," he ordered, "No gas or needles
or any of that stuff. Just pull the tooth and get it
over with."

"I wish more of my patients were as stoic as you," said
the dentist admiringly. "Now, which tooth is it?"

Mr. Smith turned to his wife...
"Show him your tooth, honey!"

[Muhammad Mahdi]

Acceptable

[kulsham]

."

Pills


Doctor: "Take the green pill with a glass of water
when you get up. Take the blue pill with 2 glasses
of water after lunch. Then just before going to bed,
take the red pill with another glass of water."

Man: "Exactly what's my problem, doc?"

Doctor: "You're not drinking enough water

funnyyyy lol

[imz]

A woman went to her Health Maintenance Organization. After about 15 minutes with one of the new doctors, she went screaming down the hall. Another doctor stopped and asked her what the problem was and she explained.

The second doctor went back to the first and said, "What's the matter with you? Mrs. Terry is 63 years old. She has four grown children and seven grandchildren and you told her she was pregnant?"

The new doctor simply smiled and said, "Cured her hiccups though, didn't it?"

[imz]

A man speaks frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only two minutes apart!"
"Is this her first child?" the doctor queries.
"No, you idiot!" the man shouts. "This is her husband!"

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The difference between a neurotic and a psychotic is that, while a psychotic thinks that 2 + 2 = 5, a neurotic knows the answer is 4, but it worries him.

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Patient: Doctor, you must help me. I'm under such a lot of stress, I keep losing my temper with people.

Doctor: Tell me about your problem.

Patient: I just did, didn't I, you stupid fool!!

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A man, after being hurt, calls 911 for help.

Man: Operator, operator, call me an ambulance!

Operator: Okay, sir, you're an ambulance!

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Patient: Doctor, what does the X-ray of my head show?

Doctor: Absolutely nothing!

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A man, seeking to lose some of his excess weight, visited the local doctor.

John: How can I lose twelve pounds of ugly fat?

Doctor: Of course! Cut your head off.

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[Muhammad Mahdi]

[Muhammad]

well well well...
manji just one suggestion to ur signature..
dnt be like a candle who helps others bt burns itself!!!
tc

[Sayyeda]

A man, after being hurt, calls 911 for help.

Man: Operator, operator, call me an ambulance!

Operator: Okay, sir, you're an ambulance!

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Patient: Doctor, what does the X-ray of my head show?

Doctor: Absolutely nothing

LOL