Discuss & Debate | Share | Learn

[kulsham]

A very successful lawyer parked his brand-new Lexus in front of his office, ready to show it off to his colleagues. As he got out, a truck passed too close and completely tore off the door on the driver's side. The lawyer immediately grabbed his cell phone, dialed 911, and within minutes a policeman pulled up. Before the officer had a chance to ask any questions, the lawyer started screaming hysterically. His Lexus, which he had just picked up the day before, was now completely ruined and would never be the same, no matter what the body shop did to it.

When the lawyer finally wound down from his ranting and raving, the officer shook his head in disgust and disbelief. "I can't believe how materialistic you lawyers are," he said. "You are so focused on your possessions that you don't notice anything else."

"How can you say such a thing?" asked the lawyer.

The cop replied, "Don't you know that your left arm is missing from the elbow down? It must have been torn off when the truck hit you."

"My God!" screamed the lawyer. "Where's my Rolex?"

[Muhammad Mahdi]

grat ones

[Muhammad Mahdi]

i had poste the rolex one earlier
anyway
good

[kulsham]

A soldier stationed in Afghanistanrecently received a letter from his girlfriend back home. It read as follows:

Dear Ricky,


I can no longer continue our relationship. The distance between us is just too great. I must admit that I have cheated on you twice, since you've been gone, and it's not fair to either of us.
I'm sorry. Please return the picture of me that I sent to you.
Love, Becky..............

The soldier, with hurt feelings, asked his fellow soldiers for any snapshots they could spare of their girlfriends, sisters or ex-girlfriends.In addition to the picture of Becky, Ricky included all the other pictures of the pretty gals he had collected from his buddies. There were 57 photos in that envelope.... along with this note:

Dear Becky,


I'm so sorry, but I can't quite remember who the hell you are. Please take your picture from the pile, and send the rest back to me.


Take Care,
Ricky

[Yas]

oooooooooooooooooooooh. NASTY. OWN3D!

[kulsham]

--1. If all the nations in the world are in debt( even US has
got debts), where did all the money go? (weird)

2. When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?

3. What is the speed of darkness?

4. If the "black box" flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn'tthe whole airplane made out of that stuff?

5. Who copyrighted the copyright symbol? (who knows)

6 .Can you cry under water?

7. Why do people say, "you've been working like a dog" when dogs just sit around all day?

8. Why are the numbers on a calculator and a phone reversed?

9. Do fish ever get thirsty?

10. Can you get cornered in a round room?

11. What does OK actually mean?

12. Why do birds not fall out of trees when they sleep? (tonight i will
stay and watch)

13. What came first, the fruit or the color orange?

14. What should one call a male ladybird?

15. If a person suffered from amnesia and then was cured would they remember that they forgot?

16. Can you blow a balloon up under water?

17. Why is it called a "building" when it is already built? (strange
isntit)

18. If you were traveling at the speed of sound and you turned on your radio would you be able to hear it?

19. If you're traveling at the speed of light and you turn your headlights
on, what happens? (i dont have a change to try)

20. Why is it called a TV set when theres only one?

21. If a person owns a piece of land do they own it all the way down to the core of the earth?

22. Why do most cars have speedometers that go up to at least 130 when you legally can't go that fast on any road?

[kulsham]

Bill Gates was in India a few days ago. He announced that Microsoft plans to release a windows version in Hindi.

Here are some Windows related terms that may be used in the Hindi version of...

Khidkiyan97:
Phaail = File
Bachao = Save
Aise Bachao = Save as
Subko Bachao = Save All
Mujhe Bachao = Help
Dhoondo = Find
Firse Dhoondo = Find Again
Hilao = Move
Daak = Mail
Daakiya = Mailer
Paas se dhekho = Zoom
Duur se dhekho = Zoom Out
Kholo = Open
Bandh Karo = Close
Naya = New
Khatara = Old
Badli Karo = Replace
Bhaago = Run
Chhaapo = Print
Dekh Ke Chhaapo = Print Preview
Kaapi = Copy
Kaato = Cut
Kato = Stupid Houseguest
Chipkao = Paste
Payshul Chipkao = Paste Special
Goli Maaro = Delete
Nazaara = View
Hathiyaar = Tools
Hathiyaar Khambha = Toolbar
Khuli Chaadar = Spreadsheet
Iska Bhi Naam Nahin Aata = Database
Futaas Ki Goli Kha = Exit
Ped = Tree
Thooso = Compress
Chooha = mouse
Tik-Tik Karo = Click
Idhar-se-Udhar.Udhar-se-Idhar = Scrollbar
Cheers !

[kulsham]

A little guy was sitting at a bar staring at his drink for ages. Suddenly, a big biker comes along, snatches his glass, guzzles down the drink and laughs, "Hah! So what you gonna do about that, little man?"

"Nothing," sighed the little guy despondently. "You see, today has been the worst day of my life.

This morning I overslept and was late for an important meeting. My boss was furious and so he sacked me.

I cleared my desk, went to my car, only to discover that it wasn't there - somebody had stolen it.

So I got a taxi home, but when it came to paying the driver I realised I'd forgotten my wallet.I then went into my house and I found my wife in bed with the gardener.

So I left home and came to this bar. And just when I was thinking about ending it all, you came along and drank my poison."

[kulsham]

One morning at a doctors surgery a patient arrives complaining of
serious back-pain. The doctor examines him and asks him" OK, what
happened to your back?"

The patient replies "You know that I work for a local night club? This
morning I got home to my apartment early and heard a noise in my
bedroom. On entering I knew someone had been with my wife and the
balcony door was open. I rushed out the balcony door and did not find
anyone. As I looked down from the balcony I saw a man running out and
he was dressing himself. I grabbed the fridge and threw it at
him,That's how I strained my back"

The 2nd patient arrives looking as if he has been in a car wreck. The
doctor said "My previous patient looked bad, but you look
terrible.What the hell happened to you?"

He replied, "You know I have been unemployed for a while now .Today
was the first day at my new job. I forgot to set my alarm and was
running late. I was running out of the building, getting dressed at
the same time, and you won't believe it but I was hit by a fridge."

The 3rd patient arrives; he looks even worse than the other two
patients do. The doctor is shocked. Again asks, "What the hell
happened to youuuuuu.....?"

"Well I was sitting in a fridge & someone threw it from the 3rd floor"

[manji2005]

good 1s

[Muhammad Mahdi]