Funny insulting jokes

The best place to come in and give your face muscles some exercise...
User avatar
Muhammad Mahdi
Ask Addict
Ask Addict
Posts: 1883
Joined: 09 Apr 2005, 22:42

Postby Muhammad Mahdi » 08 Oct 2005, 17:33

:P
User avatar
Sayyeda
Ask Senior
Ask Senior
Posts: 479
Joined: 19 Oct 2004, 16:48
Location: Dar es Salaam
Contact:

Postby Sayyeda » 10 Oct 2005, 20:08

:lol: :lol:
*~* Stop analysing life, Just live it!... "Your today is the tomorrow that you were worried about yesterday!"*~*
User avatar
Sayyeda
Ask Senior
Ask Senior
Posts: 479
Joined: 19 Oct 2004, 16:48
Location: Dar es Salaam
Contact:

Postby Sayyeda » 11 Nov 2005, 23:48

Hey where are you manji2005?

Whenever I used to log on Ask, I would first check this section for the insultive jokes :P post them basi! Enjoyed them :lol:
*~* Stop analysing life, Just live it!... "Your today is the tomorrow that you were worried about yesterday!"*~*
User avatar
Sayyeda
Ask Senior
Ask Senior
Posts: 479
Joined: 19 Oct 2004, 16:48
Location: Dar es Salaam
Contact:

Postby Sayyeda » 11 Nov 2005, 23:50

Same applies to you Muhammed Mahdi! :P

Where are you guys lost?
*~* Stop analysing life, Just live it!... "Your today is the tomorrow that you were worried about yesterday!"*~*
User avatar
Muhammad Mahdi
Ask Addict
Ask Addict
Posts: 1883
Joined: 09 Apr 2005, 22:42

Postby Muhammad Mahdi » 12 Nov 2005, 08:50

electricity problems!
User avatar
Sayyeda
Ask Senior
Ask Senior
Posts: 479
Joined: 19 Oct 2004, 16:48
Location: Dar es Salaam
Contact:

Postby Sayyeda » 14 Nov 2005, 19:17

Hmmm.... understandable! :roll:
*~* Stop analysing life, Just live it!... "Your today is the tomorrow that you were worried about yesterday!"*~*
User avatar
manji2005
Ask Senior
Ask Senior
Posts: 330
Joined: 26 Feb 2005, 11:41
Location: Dsm, Tanzania

Postby manji2005 » 16 Nov 2005, 20:26

Its good to know ask users like our jokes.
Dont worry ........ v shall be back :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: 8) 8) 8) 8)
Burn like a candle & give light to others
User avatar
manji2005
Ask Senior
Ask Senior
Posts: 330
Joined: 26 Feb 2005, 11:41
Location: Dsm, Tanzania

Postby manji2005 » 16 Nov 2005, 20:32

A little boy needed $50 very badly and prayed for weeks, but nothing happened. Then he decided to write God a letter requesting the $50.

When the post office received the letter to God, USA, they decided to send it to the President.

The president was so amused that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy a $5.00 bill. The president thought this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy.

The little boy was delighted with the $5.00 bill and sat down to write a thank-you note to God, which read:

Dear God: Thank you very much for sending the money. However, I noticed that for some reason you sent it through Washington, D.C., and, as usual, those turkeys kept $45 in taxes.
Burn like a candle & give light to others
User avatar
manji2005
Ask Senior
Ask Senior
Posts: 330
Joined: 26 Feb 2005, 11:41
Location: Dsm, Tanzania

Postby manji2005 » 16 Nov 2005, 20:36

Why Do Gorillas Have Big Nostrils?

...Because They Have Big Fingers!
___________________________________________

What is the STRONGEST letter in the alphabet?

P… Even Superman Can’t Hold It!!
___________________________________________

What is a tornado?

Mother nature doing the twist!
Burn like a candle & give light to others
User avatar
manji2005
Ask Senior
Ask Senior
Posts: 330
Joined: 26 Feb 2005, 11:41
Location: Dsm, Tanzania

Postby manji2005 » 16 Nov 2005, 20:39

What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?

Nacho Cheese!
____________________________________
When do you stop at GREEN and go at RED?

When you're eating a watermelon!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A firefighter is working outside the station when he notices a little girl in a little red wagon with small ladders on the sides, a garden hose coiled in the middle, and wearing a firefighter's helmet. The wagon is being pulled by her dog and her cat.

The firefighter takes a closer look. "That sure is a nice fire-truck," the fire fighter says with high regard.

Thanks," says girl says!

The firefighter notices the girl has tied the wagon to her dog's collar and to the cat's tail.

"Little lady," the firefighter says, "I don't want to tell you how to run your rig, but if you were to tie that rope around the cat's collar, I think you could go faster."

The little girl replies thoughtfully, "You're probably right, but...then I wouldn't have a siren!
Burn like a candle & give light to others
User avatar
manji2005
Ask Senior
Ask Senior
Posts: 330
Joined: 26 Feb 2005, 11:41
Location: Dsm, Tanzania

Postby manji2005 » 16 Nov 2005, 20:42

At the end of the school year a kindergarten teacher was receiving gifts from her class. The florist's son handed her a gift. She shook it and said, "I bet I know what it is; Flowers."

"That's right!" the boy said, "but, how did you know?"

"Oh, just a wild guess," the teacher replied.

The next student was the candy shop owner's daughter. The teacher held her gift, shook it and said, "I bet I can guess what it is; A box of sweets."

"That's right said the little girl, but how did you know?"

"Oh, I've been around for many years," said the teacher proudly.

The next gift was from the son of the liquor store owner. The teacher held he package, but it was leaking so she grabbed a drop off the leaking contents with her finger and put it on her tongue for a taste test.

"Is it wine?" the teacher asked.

"NOPE," the boy replied, with some excitement.

The teacher repeated the process, tasting a larger drop of the leaking package. "Is it champagne?" she asked.

"NO MAM," he replied, with even more excitement!

The teacher with all her knowledge finally took one more big taste before admitting, "I give up. What is it?"

With an giant grin the boy replied, “SURPRISE, It's a puppy!"

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Burn like a candle & give light to others
User avatar
manji2005
Ask Senior
Ask Senior
Posts: 330
Joined: 26 Feb 2005, 11:41
Location: Dsm, Tanzania

Postby manji2005 » 16 Nov 2005, 20:48

The Anderson family just moved into their new home when a neighbor asked 5-year-old Tommy Anderson how he liked it.

“It’s great,” Tommy said. “I have my very own room and my brother Alex has his own room, and Jamie has her own room too! But poor mom, she is still with dad…”
Burn like a candle & give light to others
User avatar
manji2005
Ask Senior
Ask Senior
Posts: 330
Joined: 26 Feb 2005, 11:41
Location: Dsm, Tanzania

Postby manji2005 » 16 Nov 2005, 20:50

An old man walked out onto a frozen lake on a bitter cold winter day. He drilled a hole in the ice, sat on his bucket, put his fishing line in the water and eagerly waited for a fish to bite.

He was there for almost five hours without even a nibble when a young boy walked out, drilled a hole in the ice and sat on his bucket not far from the old man. It only took about one minute and BAM! A huge walleye bit his hook and the boy pulled in the fish.

The old man couldn't believe it and figured it was just luck. Yet, the boy put his fish line in again and within just two minutes he pulled in another huge walleye!

This went on and on until finally the old man couldn't stand it any more. He hadn't caught a fish all day. He went to the boy and said, "Boy, I've been here nearly all day without even a nibble. You have been here only a few minutes and have caught TEN huge fish! How do you do it?"

The boy said, "Oo af o rep ra rums rm."

"What," asked the old man?

Again the boy said, "Oo af o rep ra rums rm.”

Freezing and impatient the old man yelled "Look, I can't understand a word you are saying."

So, the boy took off his gloves, spit a clump of stuff into his hands and said, "You have to keep the worms warm!!"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Burn like a candle & give light to others
User avatar
manji2005
Ask Senior
Ask Senior
Posts: 330
Joined: 26 Feb 2005, 11:41
Location: Dsm, Tanzania

Postby manji2005 » 16 Nov 2005, 20:52

April showers bring May flowers, but what do May flowers bring?

Pilgrims…
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Burn like a candle & give light to others
User avatar
manji2005
Ask Senior
Ask Senior
Posts: 330
Joined: 26 Feb 2005, 11:41
Location: Dsm, Tanzania

Postby manji2005 » 16 Nov 2005, 20:54

"If your parents never had children, chances are you won't either."

~Dick Cavett
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it. ~Franklin P. Jones
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
When I was born I was so surprised I didn't talk for a year and a half. ~Gracie Allen
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Yes… You’re right. The early bird does get the worm. But the second mouse gets the cheese!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Burn like a candle & give light to others

Return to “Laughter the Best Medicine”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest