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User avatar
By Sayyeda
#1259
Sardarji went to party with his wife , son & daughter
and introduced his family to his friends.

I am Sardar and this is sardarney, this is my kid and
this is my kidney.

========

Sardar 2 Salesman :- I Need Pink curtains for my computer.

Salesman : Sardarji Computer Doesnt Need Curtains.

Sardarji : Oye i have windows installed

=======

Nurse: Sardarji Mubarak Ho Aap Papa Ban Gaye!!

Sardar: Meri Wife Ko Mat Bolna Main Usse Surprise Dunga!!

======


What is the similarity between Mobile & Marriage?

Thode Din Aur Ruk Jata To Thoda Acha Model Mil Jaata!!

=================

Once Zail singh was relaxing in a park. Some kids
playing nearby decided to pull his leg. Walking up to
him they asked him,

"Sir are you relaxing?" Zail singh replied, "No, I am
Zail Singh!"

The kids started laughing wildly and ran off. This
terribly confused Zail Singh and he decided to check
it out. He walked up to a guy who was relaxing on a
bench near him and asked,

"Are you relaxing?" The man replied, "Yes, why do you
ask?"

Zail Singh answered with satisfaction, "Then those
kids are probably looking for you!"

==========

Sardar found answer to most difficult question ever:
What comes first -the chicken or the egg? O yaar,
jiska order pahele dooge, wo ayega !!!

=============

American says "US mein shaadi E-mail se hoti hai.."

Sardarji " India me to.. shaadi Fe-mail se hoti
hai...!!!"

==========
80,000 sardars meet in the gurunanak stadium, for a
"Sardars Are Not stupid" Convention.

The leader says, "We are all here today to prove to
the world that Sardars are not stupid. Can I have a
volunteer?"

A sardar gingerly works his way through the crowd and
steps up to the stage. The leader asks him, "What is
15 plus 15?"

After 15 or 20 seconds he Says, "Eighteen!"

Obviously everyone is a little Disappointed.

Then 80,000 sardars start cheering, "Give him another
chance! Give him another chance!"

The leader says, "Well, since we've gone to the
trouble of getting 80,000 Of you in one place and we
have the worldwide press and global broadcast media
here, uh, I guess we can give him another chance.

"So he asks, "What is 5 plus 5?" After nearly 30
seconds he eventually says, "Ninety?"

The leader is quite perplexed, looks down and just
lets out a dejected
Sigh - everyone is disheartened, the sardar starts
crying and the 80,000
sardars begin to yell and wave their hands shouting,

"GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE!
GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE!"

The leader, unsure whether or not he is doing more ha
than damage, eventually says, "Ok! Ok! Just one more
chance

What is 2 plus 2? The surd closes his eyes, and after
a whole minute eventually says, "Four?".

Throughout the stadium pandemonium breaks out as all
80,000 surdies
jump To their feet, wave their arms, stomp their feet
and scream...


"GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE!

"GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE!
====================



Some other Broken English Sentences by sardar Jee


"There is no wind in the ball (deflated football)"

"Look at the line on your back" (falling in line)

"Apply Apply, No reply" (common one)

"Why aren't you kneel downing?"

If you talk, I'll kneel down (Always wished he would, but found out that, that's not what he meant)

Cuckoo, Blaady (Kick you, bloody...)

Meet me behind the class (meant after the class).

I talk, he talk; Why do you beech beech talk? (beech, beech = middle, middle)

Maro saale ko: Hit the brother in law.

It's so hot! Please on the fan on.

"Don't talk like that in front of my back"

Pune'ites, and Bombay'ites will understand this - "This is not 'parvadable'"!!!

Did you cut the tickets for the film, yet?

Who took out the breeze of my cykill.

He/she's my co-brother/sister!



Two Sardarjis, both student of I.I.T, Kanpur, were talking about the American Astronauts.

One said to the other, "What's the big deal about going to the moon-anybody can go to the moon. We are sardars we will go direct to the sun."

"But if we get within 13 million miles from the sun, we'll melt."

And the first answered, "So what, we'll go at night."






There was this case in the hospital's Intensive care ward where patients always died in the same bed and on Sunday morning at 11a.m., regardless of their medical condition. This puzzled the doctors and some even thought that it had something to do with the supernatural. No one could solve the mystery as to why the deaths took place at 11 AM.

So a worldwide expert team was constituted and they decided to go down to the ward to investigate the cause of the incidents. So on the next Sunday morning few minutes before 11 a.m., all doctors and nurses nervously waited outside the ward to see for themselves what the terrible phenomenon was all about.

Some were holding wooden crosses, prayer books, and other holy objects to ward off evil........ Just when the clock struck 11... Santa Singh, the part-time Sunday sweeper, entered the ward and unplugged the life support system & plugged in the vacuum cleaner.



Hehehe hope u guys enjoyed! :lol:
User avatar
By Sajida
#1261
hehehe..HILARIOUS!!! :lol:
User avatar
By Zahra..
#1271
A bit of both.. Cool and hilarious!! :wink:
User avatar
By Sayyeda
#1275
Hehehe thanks! I just loved the Broken English ones and the last one abt the Vaccum Cleaner! :lol: :lol: :lol:
User avatar
By Tanveer
#1950
A Sardarji goes to a hotel and eats heartily.After eating he
goesto wash his hands but starts washing the basin instead. The
manager comes running and asks him,"Prahji, aap kya kar rahe ho?" To this the man replies, "Oye, tumne hi to idhar board lagaya hai, Wash Basin".

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Santa singh stares at the examination paper for 5 Minutes &
starts removing his clothes. The invigilator, alarmed,approaches him
and asks what is going on. "Oye, I am only following the
instructions yaar," he says," it says here, 'Answer the following questions
in brief'".

----------------------------------------------------------------------
This sardarji goes to see Jurassic Park and when the Dinosaurs start approaching he starts cowering in hisSeat. His friend
tells him " Sardarji,kya baat hai? Dar kyon lag raha hai , cinema hi
to hai" . Sardarji replies "Haan Ji ,Aadmi hoon mujhe pata hai ki
cinema hai lekin voh to janwar hai, usko kya pata ki cinema
chal raha hai "

----------------------------------------------------------------------
One day there was a Bihari going in a Fiat Car at 45 KMPH on a high way, enjoying his drive. Suddenly a Sardaji came
Booiiiiiiiiinnnnn on a Honda and peeped into the car and shouted at the Bihari -
'Kabhi honda chalaya kya?' and sped off, The Bihari was
surprised but he did not bother. After some time the Sardarji
cameBooiiiinnnnnnnnnnn... in the opposite direction,peeped into the car and shouted again ' kabhi honda chalaya kya?' When this was repeated several times the Bihari got really annoyed. He
increased his speed but suddenly stopped as he found the Sardar lying on the road,bleeding. He got down and mocked at the sardar 'Kyon
Sardarji Kabhi Honda chalaye kya?' The sardar said ' Wohi to pooch
raha tha Mein , Honda mein brakes kidhar hain wohi dhoond raha tha'

----------------------------------------------------------------------
Sardars Hari Singh and Gani Singh got fed up with the Indian
Govt and decided to blow up the parliament. They took 2 bombs, put them in a suitcase in the front seat of their car and set off. Hari
Singh asks "What happens if the bombs blast off now?" Gani
Singh says "Don't worry, I have a spare bomb in the back seat"

----------------------------------------------------------------------
Our sardarji was filling up an application form for a job. He
promptly filled the columns titled NAME , AGE, ADDRESS etc. Then he came to the column Salary Expected : He was not sure as to what to be filled there. After much thought he wrote :Yes.

----------------------------------------------------------------------
Sardarji is buying a TV."Do you have colour TVs?" "Sure." "Give me a green one, please."

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Sardarji proposes to a woman. She says Yes , if you bring me a
pair of crocodile boots. He sets off to Africa and disappears.
Finally a search is being made, they find him hunting crocodiles and
watch him killing a huge one . He walks over the reptile, checks its
legs and angrily exclaims "71st and again barefeet!"

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Sardarji calls PIA. "How long does it take to fly to
Islamabad?" "
Just a sec," comes an answer "Thank you." says the Sardarji and hangs up!

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Sardarji bought a brand new Maruti and decided to drive down
from Lahore to Islamabad to meet his friend. He reached there in a
few hours. After spending a few days there, he decided to
return,and called up his mother to expect him in the evening but he
reaches the third day. His distraut mother ran and asked him " Arre
Puttar,ki hoya ?" The sardarji replied, "Oy, ye Mrutti wale pagal ho
gaye nain, agge jaane waaste chaar gear banaae hain, aur pichche
jaane waaste sirf ik ?"



-------------------------------------------------------------------

Two sardarjis were sitting outside a clinic. One of them was
crying like anything. So the other asked,"Why are you crying?" The
first one replied, "I came here for blood test" Second one asked,"So?
Are you afraid?" First one replied,"No, not that. During the blood
test they cut my finger" Hearing this the second one started crying.
Th first one was astonished and asked other, "Why are you crying?"
The other replied,"I have come for my urine test."


---------------------------------------------------------------------

There's a funeral procession of a sardar going on a busy
street. All the sardars in the 'mayyat' are dancing the bhangra and
singing and general 'balle balle' is on. The people on the street find
it strange that instead of mourning everyone is celebrating as if
its a marriage baarat. So one of them asks Santa Singh, "Singh
saab,aapka koisage wala gujar gaya hai aur aap naach raheho?" Prompt..... comes the reply, "Ha ji ! Hai hi baat bade khushi ki !!!
Aaj paheli baar ek sardar *brain* tumour se mara hai !!!!"

----------------------------------------------------------------------
Having lost his donkey a Sardarji, got down to his knees and
started thanking God. A passerby saw him and asked, "Your
donkey is missing; what are you thanking God for ?" The sardarji replied
"I am thanking Him for seeing to it that I wasn't riding the
donkey at that time, otherwise I would have been missing too."


----------------------------------------------------------------------
Our sardarji was filling up an application form for a job .He
promptly filled the columns titled NAME,AGE, ADDRESS etc. Then the column SEX. He was not sure as to what to be filled there.Aftermuch thought he wrote THRICE A WEEK. On seeing this in his appln. form, he was told that it was wrong and what they wanted
it to be filled was either MALE or FEMALE. Again our sardar
thought for a long time before coming up with the answer PREFERABLY FEMALES.


----------------------------------------------------------------------
Santa Singh was brought to court on charges of drunken driving.Just before the trial there was a commotion in the gallery. The
judge pounded the gravel on his table and shouted, "Order! Order!"
Santa responded immediately, "Thank you , your honour! I'll
have ascotch with soda."

----------------------------------------------------------------------
What will a Sardarji do after taking photocopies ? He will
compare it with the original for spelling mistakes !!


----------------------------------------------------------------------
User avatar
By Sajida
#1955
LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL! :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
User avatar
By arsenic
#2009
wow....tht was just FAB!!! :D
User avatar
By Sayyeda
#2017
This sardarji goes to see Jurassic Park and when the Dinosaurs start approaching he starts cowering in hisSeat. His friend
tells him " Sardarji,kya baat hai? Dar kyon lag raha hai , cinema hi
to hai" . Sardarji replies "Haan Ji ,Aadmi hoon mujhe pata hai ki
cinema hai lekin voh to janwar hai, usko kya pata ki cinema
chal raha hai "

----------------------------------------------------------------------
One day there was a Bihari going in a Fiat Car at 45 KMPH on a high way, enjoying his drive. Suddenly a Sardaji came
Booiiiiiiiiinnnnn on a Honda and peeped into the car and shouted at the Bihari -
'Kabhi honda chalaya kya?' and sped off, The Bihari was
surprised but he did not bother. After some time the Sardarji
cameBooiiiinnnnnnnnnnn... in the opposite direction,peeped into the car and shouted again ' kabhi honda chalaya kya?' When this was repeated several times the Bihari got really annoyed. He
increased his speed but suddenly stopped as he found the Sardar lying on the road,bleeding. He got down and mocked at the sardar 'Kyon
Sardarji Kabhi Honda chalaye kya?' The sardar said ' Wohi to pooch
raha tha Mein , Honda mein brakes kidhar hain wohi dhoond raha tha'

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Two sardarjis were sitting outside a clinic. One of them was
crying like anything. So the other asked,"Why are you crying?" The
first one replied, "I came here for blood test" Second one asked,"So?
Are you afraid?" First one replied,"No, not that. During the blood
test they cut my finger" Hearing this the second one started crying.
Th first one was astonished and asked other, "Why are you crying?"
The other replied,"I have come for my urine test."


---------------------------------------------------------------------
HAHAHAHA!!!!!!!! That was really funny!!!!!! :lol: :lol: :lol:
User avatar
By Sayyeda
#2018
A sardar mom writes to her son Jagjit.....

My dear Jagjit,


I am in a well here and hoping you are also in a well there. I'm
writing this letter slowly, because I know you cannot read fast.We
don't live where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the
newspaper that most accidents happen 20 miles from home, so we moved
20 miles. I won't be able to send the address, as the last Sardar who
stayed here took the house numbers with them for their new house so
they would not have to change their address. Hopefully by next week we
will be able to take our earlier address plate here, and that our
address will remain same too.
This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine, situated
right above the toilet. I'm not sure it works too well. Last week I
put in 3 shirts, pulled the chain and haven't seen them since. The
weather here isn't too bad. It rained only twice last week. The first
time it rained for 3 days and second time for 4 days. The coat you
wanted me to send you, your Aunt said it would be a little too heavy
to send in the mail with all the metal buttons, so we cut them off and
put them in the pocket.
Your father has another job. He has 500 men under him. He is cutting
the grass at the cemetery. By the way I took Bahu to our club's
poolside. The manager is Badmash. He told her that two piece swimming
suit is not allowed in his club. We were confused as to which piece
should we remove?
Your sister had a baby this morning. I haven't found out whether it is
a girl or a boy, so I don't know whether you are an Aunt or Uncle.
Your uncle, Jetinder fell in the nearby well. Some men tried to pull
him out, but he fought them off bravely and drowned. We cremated him
and he burned for three days.
Your best friend, Balwinder, is no more. He died trying to fulfill his
father's last wishes. His father had wished to be buried in the sea
after he died. And your friend died while in the process of digging a
grave for his father.
There isn't much more news this time. Nothing much has happened.

Love,
Mom.

P.S. Jagjit, I was going to send you some money but by the time I
realized, I had already sealed off this letter.
User avatar
By kulsham
#2035
WHAT DOES A SARDAR SAY WHILE WALKING LEFT RIGHT ON THE ZEBRA CROSSING ROAD SIGN????

" YEH PIANO BAJTA KYUN NAHI YAAR?"
....
User avatar
By Sayyeda
#2043
kulsham Posted: Mon Mar 28, 2005 8:41 pm Post subject:

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

WHAT DOES A SARDAR SAY WHILE WALKING LEFT RIGHT ON THE ZEBRA CROSSING ROAD SIGN????

" YEH PIANO BAJTA KYUN NAHI YAAR?"
HAHAHA!!!!! :lol: :lol:
User avatar
By kulsham
#2313
Jasmeet caught her husband Santa searching his living room.
Jasmeet:"What r you searchin?"
Santa:"Hidden cameras!"
Jasmeet:"And what makes you think that there are hidden cams?"
Santa:"That guy on TV knows what I am doing.Every few minutes he keeps saying
'you r watching Star World'.
How does he know that?"


Santa & Banta were boasting of their parents achievements.
Santa:Have you ever heard of the Suez Canal?
Banta:Yes.
Santa:My father dug it.
Banta:That's nothing, have you ever heard of Dead Sea?
Santa : Yes.
Banta : My father killed it.

Teacher: "I killed a person" convert this sentence into future tense.
Sardar: The future tense is "you will go to jail".

Santas & Banta playing ludo.
suddenly light goes,they light candle.
After sometime:
Santa "Yaar, bahot garmi hai, fan on karo."
banta "nahi,mombati buz jayegi"
User avatar
By Sayyeda
#2676
Jasmeet caught her husband Santa searching his living room.
Jasmeet:"What r you searchin?"
Santa:"Hidden cameras!"
Jasmeet:"And what makes you think that there are hidden cams?"
Santa:"That guy on TV knows what I am doing.Every few minutes he keeps saying
'you r watching Star World'.
How does he know that?"


Santa & Banta were boasting of their parents achievements.
Santa:Have you ever heard of the Suez Canal?
Banta:Yes.
Santa:My father dug it.
Banta:That's nothing, have you ever heard of Dead Sea?
Santa : Yes.
Banta : My father killed it.

Teacher: "I killed a person" convert this sentence into future tense.
Sardar: The future tense is "you will go to jail".



Hahahaha!!!!!! that was funny! :lol: :lol: :lol:

However, didn't really understand the last one regarding the ludo stuff! :oops: (No wonder didn't paste it)
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