Blonde jokes

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Mazhar
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Blonde jokes

Postby Mazhar » 10 Apr 2007, 12:18

Are his Lights On?

A brunette and a blonde were speeding down the street when they passed a cop. "Oh no!" cried the brunette. "Is he following me?" "Yep," replied the blonde.

"I'm going to drive down this little side road, okay?" said the brunette. "Yep," replied the blonde.

"Is the cop still following me?" "Yep."

"Are his lights on?" "Yep, nope, yep, nope, yep, nope..."
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Dayyanah Karim
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Blonde jokes

Postby Dayyanah Karim » 26 Dec 2009, 15:26

Another Chance
One day a big group of blondes met in New York to show the world that blondes aren't dumb.
They begged: "Ask any of us any question, and we will show you that we're not dumb."

The group caught the attention of a passer by, who volunteered to ask them some questions. He climbed up on a car and randomly picked a blonde out of the crowd.
She got up on the car too and the man asked: "What is the first month of the year?"
The blonde responded: "November?"

"Nope," said the man. At this point the crowd began to chant, "Give her another chance, give her another chance."

So the man asked: "What is the capital of the U.S.A ?"
The blonde responded: "Paris?"
So the crowd began chanting again: "Give her another chance, give her another chance."

The man said: "Okay, but this is the last one. What is one plus one?"
The blonde replied: "Two?"

“Give her another chance, Give her another chance." screamed the crowd.
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Samuel Goldwyn - "I'm willing to admit that I may not always be right, but I am never wrong." :D
Muhammad Mahdi - "Photography is a form of hunting where that which is shot, lives forever"
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Dayyanah Karim
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Blonde jokes

Postby Dayyanah Karim » 26 Dec 2009, 18:55

Blondes Are The Best!!!

A blonde and her husband are lying in bed
Listening to the next door neighbor's dog.
It has been in the backyard barking for hours and hours.
The blonde jumps up out of bed and says,
"I've had enough of this".
She goes downstairs.
The blonde finally comes back up to bed
And her husband says "The dog is still barking,
What have you been doing?"
The blonde says,
"I put the dog in our backyard,
let's see how THEY like it!



Two Blondes With Hammers...
Lynn and Judy were doing some carpenter work on a Habitat
for Humanity House. Lynn was nailing down house siding, would reach
into her nail pouch, pull out a nail and either toss it over her
shoulder or nail it in.
Judy, figuring this was worth looking into, asked, 'Why are you
Throwing those nails away?'
Lynn explained, 'When I pull a nail out of my pouch, about half of
Them have the head on the wrong end and I throw them away.'
Judy got completely upset and yelled, 'You moron! Those
nails aren't Defective! They're for the other side of the house!'




Did you hear about the two blondes who froze to death in a
drive-in movie?
They had gone to see 'Closed for the Winter.'




You might have to think twice about this one.
A blonde hurried into the emergency room late one night
with the tip Of her index finger shot off. 'How did this happen?' the
emergency Room doctor asked her.
'Well, I was trying to commit suicide,' the blonde replied.
'What?' sputtered the doctor. 'You tried to commit suicide
by shooting Off your finger?'
'No, Silly' the blonde said. 'First I put the gun to my chest, and
Then I thought, 'I just paid $6, 000.00 for these implants..
I'm not shooting myself in the chest.'
'So then?' asked the doctor.
'Then I put the gun in my mouth, and I thought, 'I just
paid $3,000.00 To get my teeth straightened I'm not shooting myself in
the mouth..'
'So then?'
'Then I put the gun to my ear, and I thought: 'This is
going to make a Loud noise. So I put my finger in my other ear before
I pulled the
Trigger.




A blonde was driving home after a game and got caught in a
really bad Hailstorm. Her car was covered with dents, so the next day
she took it To a repair shop. The shop owner saw that she was a
blonde, so he Decided to have some fun.. He told her to go home and
blow into the Tail pipe really hard, and all the dents would pop out.
So, the blonde went home, got down on her hands and knees
and started Blowing into her tailpipe.. Nothing happened.. So she blew
a little Harder, and still nothing happened.
Her blonde roommate saw her and asked, 'What are you
doing?' The first Blonde told her how the repairman had instructed her
to blow into the Tail pipe in order to get all the dents to pop out.
The roommate rolled her eyes and said, 'Uh, like hello!
You need to roll up the windows first.'




These are just too cute not to pass on!!!!

A blonde was shopping at Target and came across a shiny silver
Thermos. She was quite fascinated by it, so she picked it
up and took It to the clerk to ask what it was.
The clerk said, 'Why, that's a thermos..... It keeps hot things hot,
And cold things cold.'
'Wow, said the blonde, 'that's amazing....I'm going to buy
it!' So she Bought the thermos and took it to work the next day.
Her boss saw it on her desk. 'What's that,' he asked?
'Why, that's a thermos..... It keeps hot things hot and cold things
Cold,' she replied..
Her boss inquired, 'What do you have in it?'
The blond replied.....'Two popsicles and some coffee.'



AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST
A blonde goes into work one morning crying her eyes out.
Her boss asked sympathetically, 'What's the matter?'
The blonde replies, 'Early this morning I got a phone call
saying that My mother had passed away.'
The boss, feeling sorry for her, says, 'Why don't you go
home for the Day? Take the day off to relax and rest.'
'Thanks, but I'd be better off here. I need to keep my
mind off it and I have the best chance of doing that here.'
The boss agrees and allows the blonde to work as usual. A couple of
hours pass and the boss decides to check on the blonde. He
looks out from his office and sees the blonde crying hysterically...
'What's so bad now? Are you gonna be okay?' he asks.
'No!' exclaims the blonde. 'I just received a horrible call from my
sister. Her mother died, too!'


Blondes Are The Best!!!
Image

Samuel Goldwyn - "I'm willing to admit that I may not always be right, but I am never wrong." :D
Muhammad Mahdi - "Photography is a form of hunting where that which is shot, lives forever"

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