NO COMMITMENT

The decision to marry is one of great importance. How early should this decision be made? How early is too early? And everythign else about marriage
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Tanveer
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NO COMMITMENT

Postby Tanveer » 13 Jun 2005, 22:09

Living together and having babies together with no commitment is now the normal - now marriage is old fashion! This is the reason why there are millions of single mothers, why there are so many broken homes, and why the family unit is slowly breaking up. Also, children are being forced to live in unhealthy environments which results in them being psychologically impaired later on in life.

However, in relationships such as “living together” as girlfriend and boyfriend, what kind of securities is there? The couple can have ten children, for all they care, and there is no law that stops a man or woman from walking out at any time from this kind relationship.

Sadly, there are too many teen mothers out there. They end up getting pregnant before finishing school and cannot get a decent job. Their boyfriends, who used them only for sex, ends up leaving them with a child. In a lot of cases, the girls are left pregnant at a tender age of 16 or less. These girls are left heartbroken. They thought their boyfriends who once whispered passionate words of love to lure them into bed would stick around to help support the product of their "love”…. wrong! If these guys truly loved them, they would feel strong about making a commitment and if they claim they are not ready to make a commitment then they are not ready to be involved in a relationship at all.

The real shock is the laws that govern the countries—they certainly do not help. For example, in Britain the age of consent to have sex is 16. (That is, to be able to have sex without being prosecuted). But to get married at 16, people have to have parents’ permission and can only get married without parental permission at the age of 18. Why can people have sex at 16 without parents’ permission, but need to have their permission when getting married? Marriage is when the couple is doing things the right way!

There was an incident a few years back of an English girl who reverted to Islam, wore the scarf, and got married to a Turkish man at the age of 15. There was a public outcry. People were bewildered of how a girl can get married at the age of 15. It was all over the newspapers and everyone was talking about it. But the contradicting thing is no one talks about 15 year old girls getting pregnant by their boyfriends! Why should they, its now the norm! Why is it when people want to do it the right and honorable thing, getting married, everyone is against it?

There is nothing wrong with getting married at a young age; Prophet Muhammad encouraged people to get married when they reach the age of puberty. If your body says its ready to bare children, then you’re old enough to get married. Getting married is better for the people involved, better for the kids, and better for making society a secure place.
~Tanveer~
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sadika
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Postby sadika » 02 Jul 2005, 20:57

Some shocking realities you have pointed out there.

I have noticed many major hurdles that face the youth of our community today on the path to marriage. The following are two of them: -

1. The Extravagant ceremonies and gifts without which 'our' community cannot complete a marriage. If we make a list it is shocking. Just some examples are Cake Ceremony, Mehndi Party, Ghor and what not! And all of them make the bill of the marriage reach several millions. In addition expensive gold sets have to be given and expensive gifts have to be exchanged.

2. Education: Many young people, especially the girls these days are brainwashed with the term Education. They say they dont want to get married as they want to pursue further education.

What do you all think
Sadika - A Muslimah in search of the truth

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