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The decision to marry is one of great importance. How early should this decision be made? How early is too early? And everythign else about marriage
#2709
Ok - This thing as been in my mind for ages. I have heard of so many people engaged and in like 3 or 6 months suddenly the engagment is broken.

Sometimes reasons are guinune sometimes pathetic - Why? Are people getting engaged out of their will? Is it the constant talking between the engaged couple the reason? Do we blame the technology?

I dont get it - If you are not sure than why are you getting engaged on the first place? People dont realize the guy whose engagemnet is broken gets engaged again soon after it. Its the girls who get problems.

I would love to hear people's view on this issue
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By abuali
#7146
Definitely an issue...

Another issue to ponder upon is the big rate of divorce cases in DSM alone!

Does anyone have any statistics to share?

Anyone have any first hand info and reasons that may be the major cause?

Are we lacking in the 'selection' process or is it a problem of non-compatibility of status?
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By Umm.aly
#7150
I dont get it - If you are not sure than why are you getting engaged on the first place? People dont realize the guy whose engagemnet is broken gets engaged again soon after it. Its the girls who get problems.
I agree with the above totally! its like they r not good enough for marriage anymore!
Another issue to ponder upon is the big rate of divorce cases in DSM alone!
This is quiet serious too! I feel the youths of today who get married are really not fully aware of what they are getting into. Marriage requires alot of responsiblity and commitment as well as sacrifice on both parties.
In other cases its the in laws interference which casues the break-up.. many a times i feel its the guy who is put in a situation of choosing between his wife and mother..
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By abuali
#7154
Muhaddisa wrote:
I dont get it - If you are not sure than why are you getting engaged on the first place? People dont realize the guy whose engagemnet is broken gets engaged again soon after it. Its the girls who get problems.
I agree with the above totally! its like they r not good enough for marriage anymore!
Another issue to ponder upon is the big rate of divorce cases in DSM alone!
This is quiet serious too! I feel the youths of today who get married are really not fully aware of what they are getting into. Marriage requires alot of responsiblity and commitment as well as sacrifice on both parties.
In other cases its the in laws interference which casues the break-up.. many a times i feel its the guy who is put in a situation of choosing between his wife and mother..
How about the effects on the guys side? Is it less severe in our culture?

For the husband I can imagine the dilemma if he were put to that situation of choosing...does that happen often though? or is it more often non-compatibility and 'economic' reasons? I am particularly refering to Dar es Salaam community
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By Umm.aly
#7161
U tell me from the guys side.. I am more aware of the girls side and from wat i see, getting enagaged the second time for a girl is not as easy.. ofcorse i may be wrong but thts how i c it..

Wat do u mean by economic reasons?

I suppose non-compatability is a factor to divorce, but i feel tht happens mostly in the engagement stage which is wen the engagements are called off..
As for divorce.. perhaps because there are may be alot of expectations from both spouses for each other early on in the marriage, and when they fall short, things fall apart..
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By abuali
#7162
I am not really sure...havent had a close look at any broken engagements. Maybe others who may have done so can share...

As to economic reasons...say the income the husband earns is lesser compared to the expectation/need of the wife...I have known it to be a reason for divorce in cases...but is it prevalent in Dar es Salaam?
I suppose non-compatability is a factor to divorce, but i feel tht happens mostly in the engagement stage which is wen the engagements are called off..
As for divorce.. perhaps because there are may be alot of expectations from both spouses for each other early on in the marriage, and when they fall short, things fall apart..
Sometimes i guess both parties do not communicate well before marriage...and then realise that they expected something else.

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