Marriage:: The way to go - Programme on 27th November

The decision to marry is one of great importance. How early should this decision be made? How early is too early? And everythign else about marriage

Was the program organised worth for the time? Suggestion for future program are welcome !!!

YES
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NO
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Total votes: 1
Hussaini
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Marriage:: The way to go - Programme on 27th November

Postby Hussaini » 01 Nov 2004, 11:15

"Enter the world where two hearts are better than one!"



MARRIAGE SUPPORT GROUP

PRESENTS

A programme for young Adults and their Parents:

"Marriage:: The way to go"

Discussion On...


'Whom to Marry,

The Why's & How's of Marriage!'


Date: Saturday, 27th November 2004

Time: 8.00 pm

Venue: Jaffery Complex, Morogoro Road.

Tickets - 2000/= per person including Dinner.


Register with Marriage Support Group Members.

E-mail: marriagesupport@raha.com



(LADIES - HIJAB TO BE OBSERVED PLEASE!)
Last edited by Hussaini on 29 Nov 2004, 18:06, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby Hussaini » 08 Nov 2004, 10:51

What do you think of this program??
How many of you are thinking to attend this program.
Any feedback from the youths will be appreciatted.
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Postby Tayyaba » 09 Nov 2004, 13:31

I think i am gonna come and it seems its gonna be a ver good prog...
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Postby Sajida » 09 Nov 2004, 14:44

Salaam,
Im planning to come too inshallah,do we have to buy the tickets from somewhere or they gna b available at the complex itself?
Sajida..
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Postby choco.chip » 09 Nov 2004, 16:56

S.A

I'll go too. sounds good.

Sajida, the tickets are sold at the mosque, get yourself registered..

They haven't told us anything about who the speakers will be..it's a surprise they say!..Guys ..(lol) maybe Syed Haider is gna be there! :O you never know! Ok, i'm thinking too big. maybe its a mini surprise only. We'll find out.

See U all there.

Paece.
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Postby abuali » 11 Nov 2004, 00:13

Alaykum Salaam all.

Its great that programs such as these are coming our way.

We should all take part in it. I definitely agree that it will benefit us.

Lets spread the word.

Besides, there is DINNER :D
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Postby Sayyeda » 11 Nov 2004, 02:45

Hahaha! No wonder Hasin will go, Dinner will be provided :wink: lol kidding... Sounds good to me too, I guess I will also try to go (though my exams will be quite near, but will see). If I miss it, then do tell me what was discussed... plus what the menu was... LOL!!! :D
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Postby Sakina » 11 Nov 2004, 23:44

786...
Salaam to yall out there....im planning to go to but i dont think it will be all that great!....the topic they want to discuss is 'Whom to marry' and havent most of us already decided what kind of a person we want to spend the rest of our lives with?
Its wonderful that they are making an effort and to me a more useful topic would be 'How to tell if he is the Right guy'...i mean think about it and this is specially for you girls..when a guy comes and asks for your hand how can you tell if you are going to be compatible? how do you know he is the man you want to be the father of your children? ok so he seems great; he is educated, seems religious and he is quite perfect! well then how do you know that that is not just a front? how do you know he is sincere.....you can always ask questions right?....but then how would you know he is being honest? THINK ABOUT IT. That is my greatest dilemma. I want to know how to tell if he is for real or not...that i think be would a lot more useful.
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Postby Hussaini » 12 Nov 2004, 01:35

Interesing feedback from Sis. Sakina.

Let us discuss on her suggested topic and if you come up with a concrete, we can ask MSG (Marriage suppport Group) to arrange the same in the future.

I am sure the detail program will be out soon. Will post it if I get hold of it.
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Postby Tanveer » 15 Nov 2004, 16:25

The question that Sister Sakina has in mind is quite logical but you can never know the person unless you LIVE with him/her.I don't think this is only for girls...guys too maybe asking...How do we know if SHE is the RIGHT GIRL???That is the reason why we are told to have the maximum communication during the interval between the engagement period and the marriage.Engagements are meant to be broken.Its not only important on how sincere the guy is.It is also important for the guy to know how sincere the girl is.We feel pity only on the females but these days I think it's the opposite.The guys are mostly "playboys"...no offence....it's a fact but i am not talking about ALL of them...I am talking about the majority who are...but these days,the girls are no less "playgirls" then the guys are "playboys".Such programs related to marriage are very often being organized for the girls...every now and then you will hear an announcement in the mosque saying that there's a program for engaged young ladies...etc...etc...i think guys need more of it too.I am glad that this time the one organized by the MSG is for both FEMALES AND MALES...As for the question regarding the RIGHT guy or girl...well, as i mentioned,you have to LIVE with the person to know him/her well.He MAY be fake....or SHE MAY be fake...and that is something you cannot know whether your marriage with him/her was LOVE or ARRANGED or PARTIAL LOVE...whatever it maybe...In fact,these days arranged marriages are staying and love marriages are ending up in DIVORCE.So you can really never know the RIGHT guy or girl...if you want to find out and question about the guy who asks for your hand in marriage then as Syed Hayder said:"Ask his friends...and ask ABOUT his friends...who they are...ask people who hang around with him and you will get a rough idea on whether he is the RIGHT guy or not.If you have BROTHERS or COUSINS (MALES) request them to find out all about the guy.Males have this particular feeling of support and protection in them...your bros n cousins will definitely try and find out about that particualr guy as much as they can and if they find the least bit of a negative point,they will advice you on what to do.Let us attend this programme and see what we learn.There's no harm in attending it.You may not learn about how to know if HE is the RIGHT guy but you may get a brief idea on whom to marry and how to find out about the guy.Go for it sakina...
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Postby Sakina » 15 Nov 2004, 18:03

786...
Thank you for your feedback....(anyone who who replied).
FAB- i am going to be attending the programme as i metioned in my earlier post..it cant hurt right?......some of what you say makes sense and yet nobody wants a broken engagement, as for 'partial love' i dont believe in it! i do not think there is such a thing as love before marriage! the love that a man and woman feel for each other and the special bond that brings them together is the 'mawaddah' and 'rahma' that Allah az'a wa jal places in their hearts when they get married.
You mentioned that we can ask our male cousins and brothers to help, well some of us dont have either, and lets get real its not always possible or feasible to talk to the guy's friends, for example you might live in dsm and he somewhere in the US...well are you going to fly there and find out who his friends are and talk to them without him finding out? and lets say you tell him, well then wouldnt he just ask his friends to back him up? what kind of a friend would tell a total stranger his friend's secrets? ok so maybe it can slip out and its worth a shot but again its not fool-proof..but then i suppose nothing is when it comes to marriage...like they say 'Its hard to live with and just as difficult to live without'.....
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Postby Tanveer » 16 Nov 2004, 07:00

Sister Sakina...it seems like you have had a little misunderstanding in what i wrote earlier...Nobody is asking you to BELIEVE in PARTIAL LOVE....but its a fact in our community and you cannot deny it.Nobody can deny the fact that the youths of our community today are first falling in love and then with the consent of their parents....they get married.Again, i am not talking about ALL of them....i have to make this clear or else i guess you'll make another write up telling me that not ALL of them fall in love...but for those who do,ofcourse I call that as a PARTIAL LOVE MARRIAGE because then with the consent of their parents,they get married and they were in love already....
Secondly,nobody said that if the guy is living in dar,then you should talk to his friend in US to know more about the guy.You do not necessarily HAVE to talk to the guys friends.I wrote earlier that you can ASK ABOUT his FRIENDS...sometimes,you may not know the guy but you maybe knowing his friends...if you ask ABOUT his friends,you can have a rough idea about the guy....A MAN IS KNOWN BY THE COMPANY HE KEEPS....again that's not always true...the guy may be good n the company bad...or...the company may be good and the guy bad....that is why we are told to ask about THE GUY AND HIS FRIENDS....again,if in the first place,the guy is good,he will never hang around with BAD COMPANY...it's good to hear that you have made up your mind in attending the program...you're right...it wont and can't hurt...
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Postby Sakina » 17 Nov 2004, 17:32

786...
Hahahaha...lol....You know its amazing how you have taken everything i have said out of context and chosen to interpret it the way you see fit...im afraid it is NOT i who is misunderstanding anything.....i believe what i said in my previous post was that 'i do not believe that love exists before marriage' and yet you went on to say that there are infact people who do " fall in love" and then then get married with the permission of their parents and that is what you called partial love well my friend i choose to
disagree...yes some people do go out with each other and then may decide to spend their lives together however whatever their feelings may be for each other before they are married i certainly would not call it love..infatuation maybe and more often than not lust.
As for my example about the two people living in different countries i was merely pointing out the fact that the solution for problems in different situations is not always the same! I hope now you understand better what i was trying to say. Feel free to pm me if you require any further elaboration.
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Postby Hussaini » 17 Nov 2004, 20:10

For those of you who are attending, below is the program for the night , including Dinner:

Talk show: Should men marry?
Talk/lecture: Marriage in the new millennium
Talk show: The perfect spouse
Panel discussion and Q&A.

Will appreciaette your feed back afer the program. I hope most of you can make it.
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Postby Tanveer » 17 Nov 2004, 21:55

Sakina..you are being rather rude you know...you ask questions regarding how do you know its the RIGHT guy...when you get some feedback on ONE of the FEW ways on finding out about the guy, you argue with that rigid point in your mind that the same solution cannot be applied to different problems...whatever you call that "thing" that happens before marriage,it doesn't matter....you cannot make others believe what you believe and neither was I trying to make you believe what I do...you don't believe in LOVE BEFORE MARRIAGE and some others don't too...but yet again,there are SOME who DO beleive in it and you may break your skul but this fact wont change...asking about the guys friends (whether they be in the U.S or DODOMA) was just 1 of the ways of asking about the guy given by Syed Hayder Bahr al Uloom......:D
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