- 06 Apr 2008, 16:04
#12146
Salam Alaykum
My post is mainly directed to Brother Mohamed Reza's comment about the list of divorces happening in our community.
We, as the Khoja Community, need to understand AND aknowledge that 'Age' is not always the ONLY reason for a marriage not lasting. Yes, its given, maturity has alot to do with how tolerant the pair are, but there are other factors which also widely effect a marriage.
From the points you have been making, it comes across as if, its either AGE or a Mis-communication between the Husband and the Wife which causes the drift. Yes, theres no doubt, both of your points ARE real reasons for Marriages ending in Break ups, but theyre not the ONLY possible ones.
Dont you also feel, HONESTY plays the MOST IMPORTANT role in a marriage? Anything begun with the wrong footing will obviously not end well. We need to stress on facts like, one does not have to pretend, and show themselves as a total different picture to their potential spouse. These are the roots of developing issues. Its the expectations the dishonest person builds in the others eyes.....and when the levels are not met when their relationship has been Fixated and called a 'Marriage', things begin to fall apart...and the marriage ends in a divorce.
There is NO right or Wrong answer to When the right time IS to get married. The truth is: one will never be ready enough to get married, its all about gearing your heart and mind. You need have your feet burried firm on the ground, recognise WHO you are and WHAT your purpose is, and WHAT it is that you want from this world.
Look at the Lady of the Heavens, Lady Fatema Zahra Salamullah, How old was she when she got married? was she touching her 'twenties' for her to believe she was ready? and how well did her marriage last? Wasnt it EVERYTHING to do with PIETY and HONESTY?! We always turn around and say, times are different, generations are different, and ofcourse people are different. Thats GIVEN! theres no doubt about that at all....this is the electronic era, and things happening now are meant to be drastically different to how they used to be during Lady Fatema Salamullah's Days....but does it also mean that we forget the lessons we've been taught? does it forget our sense of direction differs since we live in different Eras? Does it mean our Morals and Principles change??? NO WAYS! it all boils down to TWO things: PIETY and HONESTY! have both the qualities and see how far you go in this world.
Lifes underlying philosophy is: what seeds you plough, are what fruits you will cherish.
Likewise, what you put into a relationship, is what you'll get in return. We need to think straight, be extra careful and make sure to be thinking from our heads and not our hearts during the very sensitive decision making on wether or not to agree and take a step ahead.
No matter how old you may be, and no matter how 'correctly living' the communication between yourself and your spouse might be, you still need to invest 100% honesty, and watch, your faith and piety will walk you through life and its hurdles.
My post is mainly directed to Brother Mohamed Reza's comment about the list of divorces happening in our community.
We, as the Khoja Community, need to understand AND aknowledge that 'Age' is not always the ONLY reason for a marriage not lasting. Yes, its given, maturity has alot to do with how tolerant the pair are, but there are other factors which also widely effect a marriage.
From the points you have been making, it comes across as if, its either AGE or a Mis-communication between the Husband and the Wife which causes the drift. Yes, theres no doubt, both of your points ARE real reasons for Marriages ending in Break ups, but theyre not the ONLY possible ones.
Dont you also feel, HONESTY plays the MOST IMPORTANT role in a marriage? Anything begun with the wrong footing will obviously not end well. We need to stress on facts like, one does not have to pretend, and show themselves as a total different picture to their potential spouse. These are the roots of developing issues. Its the expectations the dishonest person builds in the others eyes.....and when the levels are not met when their relationship has been Fixated and called a 'Marriage', things begin to fall apart...and the marriage ends in a divorce.
There is NO right or Wrong answer to When the right time IS to get married. The truth is: one will never be ready enough to get married, its all about gearing your heart and mind. You need have your feet burried firm on the ground, recognise WHO you are and WHAT your purpose is, and WHAT it is that you want from this world.
Look at the Lady of the Heavens, Lady Fatema Zahra Salamullah, How old was she when she got married? was she touching her 'twenties' for her to believe she was ready? and how well did her marriage last? Wasnt it EVERYTHING to do with PIETY and HONESTY?! We always turn around and say, times are different, generations are different, and ofcourse people are different. Thats GIVEN! theres no doubt about that at all....this is the electronic era, and things happening now are meant to be drastically different to how they used to be during Lady Fatema Salamullah's Days....but does it also mean that we forget the lessons we've been taught? does it forget our sense of direction differs since we live in different Eras? Does it mean our Morals and Principles change??? NO WAYS! it all boils down to TWO things: PIETY and HONESTY! have both the qualities and see how far you go in this world.
Lifes underlying philosophy is: what seeds you plough, are what fruits you will cherish.
Likewise, what you put into a relationship, is what you'll get in return. We need to think straight, be extra careful and make sure to be thinking from our heads and not our hearts during the very sensitive decision making on wether or not to agree and take a step ahead.
No matter how old you may be, and no matter how 'correctly living' the communication between yourself and your spouse might be, you still need to invest 100% honesty, and watch, your faith and piety will walk you through life and its hurdles.