Should a man marry more then one wife at a time?

The decision to marry is one of great importance. How early should this decision be made? How early is too early? And everythign else about marriage

Do you agree to polygamous marriage?

Yes (married man)
1
9%
Yes (married woman)
2
18%
No (married man)
0
No votes
No (married woman)
0
No votes
Yes (bachelor)
2
18%
Yes (spinster)
2
18%
No (bachelor)
1
9%
No (spinster)
2
18%
Not sure until I get married then can decide!
1
9%
 
Total votes: 11
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Insaan
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Should a man marry more then one wife at a time?

Postby Insaan » 25 Dec 2010, 12:39

(bismillah)
(salam)

Having more then one wife at a time is pretty much taboo in our society. Why?

When Islam has given us the option to marry more then one wife on the condition that all the wives should be treated equally with equal rights, why do we look down upon the man who dares to marry a second wife? And sympathize with the first wife? and mistreat the second wife?

If this approach was more positively taken by us, our ladies who have been widowed/divorced at young ages with or without kids, would be taken care of, with no need to have to go out and earn a living to support themselves and their family.

The men would rather sneak behind their wives back and do muta with widows/divorcees then marry them and give them permanent status as wives.

To the extent that now the Jamat has put a clause in the marriage contract that the girl has a right to divorce her husband if he marries another woman while married to her without her permission. Does a man need anyones permission to marry a second wife? Why are we trying to override laws that God has put in place knowing the nature of humans He has created?
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Re: Should a man marry more then one wife at a time?

Postby Fatimah Zahra Karim » 25 Dec 2010, 13:56

Does Islam forbid anyone from supporting a widow/divorcee with or without children unless one is married to her? According to Islamic law, a muta wife is not entitled to financial maintenance, so those men who claim they are performing muta to support these women are only fooling themselves and those who do not know the law. Plus, what is wrong with a woman supporting herself and her family if she is earning in a halaal way?

The second wife is looked down on because these second marriages are not arranged marriages. She knew the guy was married and still went for him. That's not a nice thought, is it?
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Re: Should a man marry more then one wife at a time?

Postby Moonbeam » 02 Jan 2011, 21:26

Fatimah Zahra Karim wrote:The second wife is looked down on because these second marriages are not arranged marriages. She knew the guy was married and still went for him. That's not a nice thought, is it?


You have assumed and judged quite a bit in the above sentence and it seems so very final the way you have decided that second marriages happen because a woman goes after a man. I do not think any self respecting woman would do that. Why would she want to put herself down like that? On the other hand, man being polygamous by nature, would think of looking for another wife for various reasons best known to him.

What bugs me is, why does it have to be such a taboo? If Islam has allowed it, and our Aimmahs have practiced it (be it for political or social reasons), who are we to question anybody's motive for marrying a second wife.
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Re: Should a man marry more then one wife at a time?

Postby Insaan » 04 Jan 2011, 21:17

Fatimah Zahra Karim wrote:Does Islam forbid anyone from supporting a widow/divorcee with or without children unless one is married to her? According to Islamic law, a muta wife is not entitled to financial maintenance, so those men who claim they are performing muta to support these women are only fooling themselves and those who do not know the law. Plus, what is wrong with a woman supporting herself and her family if she is earning in a halaal way?

The second wife is looked down on because these second marriages are not arranged marriages. She knew the guy was married and still went for him. That's not a nice thought, is it?


I've heard of men who support widows and orphans only ending up in taking illicit advantage of them. Would you prefer that or muta?

Are u saying tat wives of muta don't receive any financial benefits? It's just like saying wives of nikah get only basic shelter and basic food because anything more than that is not compulsory
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Re: Should a man marry more then one wife at a time?

Postby abuali » 07 Jan 2011, 12:53

(salam)

Since Allah (swt) is Aalam and Adil we know and firmly believe that He has infinite knowledge and due to this fact his law is not only full of infinite mercy but also full of total and absolute justice.

Hence we should turn to His law with full trust (without any doubts) knowing fully well that what He decrees is not only a mercy but also in line with justice.

Likewise all the conditions He has ordained should be followed to the letter.

So if we look at his shariah as per my knowledge all Ulema are unanimous:

1. Can a man marry more than one wife? Yes

2. Should a man marry more than one wife? Yes

like everything else in shariah there are situations which are exempted. But that doesn't apply to the general majority.
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Re: Should a man marry more then one wife at a time?

Postby Muhammad Mahdi » 08 Jan 2011, 06:28

Should a man marry more than one wife? Yes


Which ulema have said this?
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Re: Should a man marry more then one wife at a time?

Postby abuali » 08 Jan 2011, 19:05

Muhammad Mahdi wrote:
Should a man marry more than one wife? Yes


Which ulema have said this?


Its in the Holy Quran

[Shakir 4:3] And if you fear that you cannot act equitably towards orphans, then marry such women as seem good to you, two and three and four; but if you fear that you will not do justice (between them), then (marry) only one or what your right hands possess; this is more proper, that you may not deviate from the right course.
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Re: Should a man marry more then one wife at a time?

Postby Fatimah Zahra Karim » 09 Jan 2011, 22:39

It says "if you fear you cannot act equitably towards orphans, then..." showing you're either marrying those orphans' mothers or you're marrying a woman to take care of your orphans. I don't see where it says a man can marry more than one wife for his pleasure. In addition to that, the verse continues "and if you cannot do justice among them, then only one...so that you may not deviate from the right course." We receive ahadith that say the Prophet (saww) used to be so just that he would divide his days among his wives and even do wudhoo at the house of the wife whose turn it was that day. How many regular men can do that? How many men can treat two wives equally?

The verse shows us that in taking more than one wife there might be straying from the right path. Is that a chance we are willing to take for worldly pleasures?
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Re: Should a man marry more then one wife at a time?

Postby Muhammad Mahdi » 10 Jan 2011, 14:48

I agree with the Fatima Zahra's response

Additionally, we can learn from the prophet and Imams. The earlier Imams married more than one wife as the times were filled with battles and widows were left with no support. As Islam became more established, the later Imams married fewer wives.
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Re: Should a man marry more then one wife at a time?

Postby abuali » 15 Jan 2011, 17:57

Fatimah Zahra Karim wrote:It says "if you fear you cannot act equitably towards orphans, then..." showing you're either marrying those orphans' mothers or you're marrying a woman to take care of your orphans.


Here is a part of Pooya/Ali commentary of 4:3 in contrast to your understanding of the ayaat:

If a man fears that he cannot; be fair to an orphan girl in regard to her dower and other conjugal rights, helpless as she is and in his charge, then he may, instead of taking the orphan-girls in marriage, marry women who are pleasing to him-two, three, or four, but not more; but if he thinks he cannot treat so many with equity, he must marry only one. Thus monogamy is the ideal; and polygamy is only allowed as a safeguard against greater social evils.


Fatimah Zahra Karim wrote:I don't see where it says a man can marry more than one wife for his pleasure


To answer your question with a few questions:

1. Where does it say that a man can marry one wife for his pleasure but not 2, 3 or 4?
2. What is the literal meaning of nikah (which applies to 1,2,3 or 4 wives and not only to the first one)?
3. Did you notice the bold underlined comment in the Pooya/Ali commentary about the verse in question?

Fatimah Zahra Karim wrote:In addition to that, the verse continues "and if you cannot do justice among them, then only one...so that you may not deviate from the right course." We receive ahadith that say the Prophet (saww) used to be so just that he would divide his days among his wives and even do wudhoo at the house of the wife whose turn it was that day. How many regular men can do that? How many men can treat two wives equally?

The verse shows us that in taking more than one wife there might be straying from the right path. Is that a chance we are willing to take for worldly pleasures?


If you agree that the Holy Prophet (pbuh) and the Holy Imams (as) had more then one wife at a time, then having more than one wife at a time becomes a sunnat-e-rasool and a sunnat-e-imam. I am sure we will agree to the benefits of following the sunnat-e-rasool.

Secondly, your argument that due to the danger of deviation polygamy should not be practiced (even though it is sunnat) is flawed yet in another manner. Let me demonstrate how.

Observe: [Shakir 8:28] And know that your property and your children are a temptation, and that Allah is He with Whom there is a mighty reward.

According to the logic you applied, we should advocate that all believers should not waste time towards acquiring property or having children since they are clearly temptation. The question you asked can be applied here as well: 'Is that a chance we are willing to take for worldly pleasures?'
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Re: Should a man marry more then one wife at a time?

Postby abuali » 15 Jan 2011, 18:01

Muhammad Mahdi wrote:I agree with the Fatima Zahra's response

Additionally, we can learn from the prophet and Imams. The earlier Imams married more than one wife as the times were filled with battles and widows were left with no support. As Islam became more established, the later Imams married fewer wives.


That's interesting. I have not looked into the number of wives our Holy Imam's (as) married. Could you provide the numbers and the references.

It would also be a good idea to do some research on the number of widows and orphans who are in the world today in addition to the population disparity between male and female children.

A study of how the above is resulting into adulterous and concubine-relationships will also prove enlightening.
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Re: Should a man marry more then one wife at a time?

Postby abuali » 22 Jan 2011, 09:33

If we can get comments and opinions from people who have experienced polygamy either personally or in their family or a friend, we can also analyze on how our society reacts to such cases and how the women and the man deal with it.

Experiences should be shared with caution to not provide any information that can identify the people involved
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Re: Should a man marry more then one wife at a time?

Postby Fatimah Zahra Karim » 22 Jan 2011, 20:47

Well, anyone who thinks the Masumeen (pbut) married more than one wife for pleasure is sorely mistaken and has not understood these great personalities! Who in their right mind thinks the Prophet (saww) wanted to marry Aisha or Hafsa? Who thinks Imam Muhammad Taqi (as) wanted to marry mamoon's daughter?

The 1st wife is to satisfy your physical desires. This is proved by the fact that if an unmarried person commits zinah, the punishment according to shariah is 100 lashes, while if a married person commits the same sin, the punishment is death by stoning.

There are, of course, situations under which a man may marry more than one such as:
1. Infertility of the woman, such as Prophet Ibrahim (pbuh) marrying B. Hajra. (with IVF and other such progresses, true infertility incurable by medical means should be rare in our community)
2. To take care of widows and orphans, as mentioned in the verse quoted by Hasin.

Please demonstrate with examples from history when the Masumeen (pbut) married extra wives for pleasure as that is what we're trying to justify in the name of Islam here. Most men who marry other wives marry unwed younger girls just for the heck of it. Not widows or slaves like the Aimmah (pbut) used to!
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Re: Should a man marry more then one wife at a time?

Postby qamar » 09 Feb 2011, 18:04

if only under some circumstances a man is allowed to marry more than one wife then this shud be mentioned clearly by mawlanas but i have never heard anything like that
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Re: Should a man marry more then one wife at a time?

Postby sadika » 09 Feb 2011, 19:33

Can anyone relly luv n care 4 4 women equally? Like luv each one as much as the other?
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