Culture Clashes!

The decision to marry is one of great importance. How early should this decision be made? How early is too early? And everythign else about marriage

I'm a Tanzanian and she's from China!

Samahani, I think you should think thrice!
3
33%
Perfect Couple! Che Che!
2
22%
Snakes and Rats for Breakfast? I don't think so!
0
No votes
Leave it to Allah (s.w.a)
4
44%
For a Tanzanian, it should be withing Africa!
0
No votes
 
Total votes: 9
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Muntazir
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Culture Clashes!

Postby Muntazir » 21 Aug 2007, 21:05

Bismillahir Rahmaanir Rahim

As salaamun 'aleykum warahmatullah

Getting married to someone from a complete different cultural background has been a big problem for some people. They would either have problems in understanding eachother, getting used to the food, their mentality, family gatherings, etc. However, what do you think? Do you think this could be a big problem if someone is willing to bare the differences? What do you think that should be important in this situation? Do they have hopes or completely not? Please share with us all that you know of.

Thank you.
as-Salaamu 'aleykum warahmatullah
Fatimah Zahra Karim
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Postby Fatimah Zahra Karim » 21 Aug 2007, 21:59

Wa alaykum salaam

According to Islam, one is supposed to base all relationships, whether friendships or marriages, on character and the love of Allah. One is supposed to be pious and to marry a person who is also pious. One may argue, of course, that culture makes a difference. But isn't Islam supposed to be a culture itself? How is it that people don't have any problem with sampling dishes native to any place they travel to, but claim that it would be difficult to 'get used to food'? I think the differences you mentioned are differences that people can work out. I'm sure it would be worse to be stuck with a disbeliever or a non-practicing muslim, who might interfere with your relationship with God.

The Masumeen emphasized that Taqwa was the important factor when it came to marriage. When I read your post, several ahadith came to mind. Here they are.
1. The Holy Prophet said "When someone refers to you for marriage, whose manner and religion you are pleased with, then unite him in wedlock." He was asked "What if he (the proposer) falls short in lineage. The Prophet (saw) replied "If you do not do wed him, then fitna and great fasaad will fill the earth." (Al-Tahtheeb Vol. 7)

2. Imam Muhammad Taqi wrote in a letter. "Whoever solicits you in marriage and you are convinced of his religion and his honesty, then unite with him in wedlock." (Al-Kafi vol. 5, Manlaa Yahdhurul Faqih Vol.3, Al-Tahtheeb Vol. 7)

3. Once a man told Imam Hussain (as) that he had a daughter and asked whom the Imam would advce hime to give her to in marriage. The Imam (as) said "Give her in marriage to someone who has taqwa in Allah, The-Almighty and Glorious, because he will love her and respect her, and if he becomes angry wth her, he will not hurt her." (Al-Mustatraf Vol.2)


The greatest consequences of inter-cultural marriages are social. Most of the times, children produced of such a marriage are made to feel they do not 'belong' to either culture. All would be fine if only the community would learn that all factors apart from Taqwa are superficial.
If Allah assists you, there is none that can overcome you; and if He forsakes you, then who is there that can assist you after Him? And on Allah should the believers rely (Qur'an 3:160)
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sadika
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Postby sadika » 30 Aug 2007, 02:00

I agree with Fatimah lakini i think there is high risk due to clashes of culture. I would think thrice
Sadika - A Muslimah in search of the truth

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