Working for women/Working after marriage ?

The decision to marry is one of great importance. How early should this decision be made? How early is too early? And everythign else about marriage

Should a woman/wife work for a living?

I am a man: No she should not; Only if neccessary
11
26%
I am a woman: No she should not; Only if neccessary
7
16%
I am a man: Yes she should/can even if not neccessary
5
12%
I am a woman: Yes she should/can even if not neccessary
9
21%
I am a man: The single woman can work, but the wife should not; Only if neccessary
4
9%
I am a woman: The single woman can work, but the wife should not; Only if neccessary
3
7%
I am a man: i dont really care; it should be her decision
4
9%
 
Total votes: 43
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abuali
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Working for women/Working after marriage ?

Postby abuali » 15 Feb 2007, 20:14

A sensitive issue in this era and time...yet an issue that needs to be discussed so as to raise awareness and bring the facts to the surface

I have created a basic poll on this issue...cast your vote and submit your opinions...

Women/Wives: Would you want to work?

Men/Husbands: Would you want your wife to work?

Father/Mother/Siblings: Would you want your daughter/sister to work?
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Postby Mazhar » 19 Feb 2007, 14:31

Salams
heres the way i see it...IF my sister/wife wants to work then i would have no problems with it provided it does not clash with her duties regarding kids n all (not housework) as-correct me if i am mistaken but housework is not supposed to be done by a wife its only done by her if she wants to...goin off the topic arent i?
Jus my thoughts
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Postby abuali » 20 Feb 2007, 14:52

Al salaams

Which duties regarding kids?
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Postby Mazhar » 20 Feb 2007, 20:49

Well this is what i meant
I have seen many cases where the kids take second stage to parents careers(this goes to both guys n girls) and i could not let my kids be neglected...... as long as the priority of life is family then i wont have any problem
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Postby abuali » 21 Feb 2007, 00:13

Hmm...here is a question for you..

You excluded housework because thats not a wifes duty as per Islamic law...


Using the same logic...
Taking care of children and even breastfeeding is not the duty of a wife either..

So why the discrimination between the two 'quasi-duties'?
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Postby Mazhar » 21 Feb 2007, 13:09

"I have seen many cases where the kids take second stage to parents careers"

Agreed its not the duty but heres how i see it with the kids the guy should have an equal responsibility as that of a girl notice how i used parents not mothers
As for housework i dont see it as being on the same level as taking care of kids coz honestly which parent would want their kids to be raised by others unless there is no other option
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Postby abuali » 21 Feb 2007, 15:32

Mazhar wrote:"I have seen many cases where the kids take second stage to parents careers"

Agreed its not the duty but heres how i see it with the kids the guy should have an equal responsibility as that of a girl notice how i used parents not mothers
As for housework i dont see it as being on the same level as taking care of kids coz honestly which parent would want their kids to be raised by others unless there is no other option


For the husband...it is HIS responsibility to provide and care for his wife and children. So one part of your PARENTS equation is fine. But why drag in the wife when she does not have that responsibility? Let the husband arrange care for the kids like he can arrange for housework!

As for the parents not wanting their kids to be raised by others....most of the parents who do so are the ones who have a choice but are too 'busy' to do so.
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Postby Mazhar » 21 Feb 2007, 17:22

Why drag her in? well in my first post i had written IF she wants to work(i would not impose) n working is not necessarily to provide for the family it can be to do something productive instead of housework i mean wats the point of havin a degree if u cant utilise it?

The only fear i would have is that the family shouldnt take second stage to careers this is wat i meant with duties regarding kids...probably should have been more specific but...

Oh n no need to quote me yaar seems its only the two of us discussing n ive been the only one givin my viewpoint cmon ppl!!!!
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Postby keenfarhan » 21 Feb 2007, 17:52

Interesting topic i must say... but still a pity that no one posts... thanx mazhar for letting me know abt the topic... m also guilty of not being aware...

Anyways as far as my views go about this topic i would certainly prefer my wife to be working... I would say especially so in today's age where the lives of many ( not all ) women is ruled by gossip and the tv serials.. I mean even our maulanas realise that and recite in majalis all the time... the moment the husband comes home what he gets is a long list of demands...

The woman should be working for a whole lot of reasons... to utilise the education that all of them get these days... to better utilise their time... to better appreciate the hard work that the husbands do...

But ofcourse as far as the normal houseworks and children are concerned... i dont think those duties should be confined to only the wife .... a marriage according to me will only be successful when the duties are shared by both the husband and the wife... and ofcourse children come first but there are ways of working things out... after all where there is a will there is a way... and in marriage its not who is superior... its like a cart that cannot move nicely without any one of its tyres
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Postby Tayyaba » 21 Feb 2007, 22:00

[quote="hasin"]
For the husband...it is HIS responsibility to provide and care for his wife and children. So one part of your PARENTS equation is fine. But why drag in the wife when she does not have that responsibility? Let the husband arrange care for the kids like he can arrange for housework!
quote]

I do not understand what you mean hasin, can you please explain!?

what i think is the lady can work after marriage if her husband has no problem with that but after they have children i think she shouldnt and she should concentrate more on the kids.
I have seen allot of cases where working women give their children to maids to stay with for the whole day so basically it is the maid raising the child instead of the Parents themselves.
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Postby FatemaC » 29 Apr 2007, 08:42

I would love to work after marriage but only part time, so that i have time for taking care of the house and that when my husband comes from work, i can spend time with him and same time if i have kids i would not like to work, coz i know when kids go to school i can do the house chores so that when they are back i can specnd time with them!!! Too far, but it's my thought
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Re: Working for women/Working after marriage ?

Postby abuali » 10 Feb 2008, 16:09

Thanks Tayyaba and FatemaC for your views

So far the polls seem to be at a tie

Any more viewpoints?
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Re: Working for women/Working after marriage ?

Postby abuali » 28 Feb 2008, 02:08

It is because I think we should be referring to our beloved Ahlul Bayt (AS) in all matters in which we have a doubt, that I choose to quote, the lady of light, the noor in the eyes of our Holy Prophet, Bibi Fatema Zahra (AS)


The Prophet (SAW) said to Fatima (AS) what is the thing which is a blessing for woman?'

She said that, 'she must not see a man (stranger and not intimate) and a man must not see her.'


Reference: http://www.al-islam.org/masoom/sayings/fatema.html
Quote 33
Taken from: Fascinating Discourses of the 14 Infallibles (AS)

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Re: Working for women/Working after marriage ?

Postby Moonbeam » 04 Aug 2009, 16:25

Salaam
From the poll and everyone else views, I gather that by 'work' its meant actually going out of the house to work (office and so on)?

Women can work from home as well and have successful professional careers.

keenfarhan wrote:The woman should be working for a whole lot of reasons... to utilise the education that all of them get these days... to better utilise their time... to better appreciate the hard work that the husbands do...


I partially agree with the above but for a women who's working from home, however I do not agree that women would better appreciate the hard work the husbands do if they go out and work. If so, then men also should stay at home to appreciate the hard work that women do..

Just a thought: Why isn't housework work enough for women? Why isn't it a valid profession? After all cooking is an art and maintaining a beautiful home a skill..
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Re: Working for women/Working after marriage ?

Postby Muhammad Mahdi » 04 Aug 2009, 19:55

Interesting questions.
Anybody with a response?
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