What is stopping you from getting married NOW?

The decision to marry is one of great importance. How early should this decision be made? How early is too early? And everythign else about marriage

What is stopping you from getting Married NOW?

Personal decision. I think I am too young | I need to study | I need to enjoy life
6
40%
Parents decision | They think I am too young | They think I need to study etc
1
7%
Parents decision but I am ready for it
0
No votes
Waiting to be asked
1
7%
Still have not found the right guy/girl
5
33%
I have passed the marriage age and its hard to find a suitor
0
No votes
Previous Divorce
0
No votes
Other (Please specify in the forum ... if you can)
0
No votes
Economic Reasons
2
13%
 
Total votes: 15
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Tayyaba
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Postby Tayyaba » 24 Feb 2007, 23:50

Bro qarrar i was talking from the girls point of view and i dont deny that household chores are for women only, but i was just trying to point out that most women dont think its a burden. yes its true that both partners should share out the work.!
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qarrar
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Postby qarrar » 25 Feb 2007, 18:23

Tayyaba wrote:household chores...most women dont think its a burden.


I doubt this entirely true across our communities around the world.
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FatemaC
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Postby FatemaC » 29 Apr 2007, 08:38

Frankly speaking, i am not ready to get married because i am still studying and i will not be ready to find a guy until i finish ma Bachelors, then i know while doing my intern, i find a guy so that when i get married, if i have to work, i just start without any training or anythin of that sort!!!
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Muntazir
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Problems in our Community and youths

Postby Muntazir » 29 Apr 2007, 16:53

Bismillahir Rahmaanir Rahim

As Salaamu ‘aleykum

If you read it this way -

Frankly speaking, “I” am not ready to get married because “I” am still studying and “I” will not be ready to find a guy until “I” finish ma Bachelors, then “I” know while doing my intern, “I” find a guy so that when “I” get married, if “I” have to work, “I” just start without any training or anythin of that sort!!!


To simplify this, there can only be two situations here. These are:

1. Someone who wants to get married but is stopped by his or her family, financial problems, etc

2. Someone who doesn’t want to get married due to some personal reason

I don’t mean to be rude, but the heading of this Forum says “What is stopping you from getting married NOW?” as to sister FatemaC, this isn’t a problem to her at all! In fact, it’s a matter of her own decision. So I don’t find her facing any difficulties unlike most of the brothers and sisters who are given lame excuses by their parents, or otherwise…

The reason why Marriage has become a Headline is because one needs security in life, and these securities are hard to find at times like these. There’s no force to what you feel for yourself, and there’s no force to Marriage.

Marriage according to Islam is Mustahab (Highly recommended), but at most cases it becomes Wajib for most of the people living in this Dunya, why? Because this Dunya is not observing strict Islamic rules, therefore it is best to get married as soon as possible.

Take as long as you want, think as much as you can, but make sure you consider marriage as a very important step in life. Take it very slow, plan your future, study your partner and then take the right step. If you do it very fast, you might end-up like the couples of these days. They get married, stay for a month or two, and get divorced!

Anyway, I don't want to get off the topic. There are a lot of things to discuss on about. These topics have been going on for months now! They are supposed to have an end at a certain point. There are so many things happening in Dar, and there are a lot of stories about our youths that we come to hear all the way here in Qom. Every member of Ask should take a step forward and organize some group or program that deals with part of the community, understands and tries to solve the problems within.

I shall get back to this some other time.

As Salaamu 'aleykum
as-Salaamu 'aleykum warahmatullah
FatemaC
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Re: Problems in our Community and youths

Postby FatemaC » 29 Apr 2007, 21:34

Thanks for the comment but please its Fatema not FatemaC
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jawad
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Postby jawad » 29 Apr 2007, 21:46

I totally agree with Br. Muntazir,

I have a strong support for young marriages, as this gives youth security, and secures half thier faith. But, the mentality needs to be changed, I am surprised as to why a person studying in Qum can come back marry and take his wife and both study there, where as a person studying else where there is always a million questions paused to them, and then there are the expenses involved.

I ask, if the girl is gng to study and the parents support, and a guy going to study and parents finance him, why cant they get married and each parent supports thier child till either finish and earn to support each other??

In the other case, a guy after completing his studies, has to go through difficulties in settling down, and by the time he is able to earn enought to support a wife and run a house, it takes a few years easily. What has our community done to solve this? A housing scheme/complex to help this new guys out? A cut down in the traditions (mehndi party etc?) atleast discouraging to this.

Dont mean to point a finger at anyone, just my views, and things that i feel would solve the problems. :-)
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kulsham
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Postby kulsham » 29 Apr 2007, 22:45

Excellent topic after Ages!

Hasin. I am ready to VOTE, but what do i get in return?
( coz this is a really personal poll/question. and then u will come to know my secrets :p)
my demands are.... 20 + reputation and positive votes!
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qarrar
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Postby qarrar » 30 Apr 2007, 03:08

jawad wrote:I ask, if the girl is gng to study and the parents support, and a guy going to study and parents finance him, why cant they get married and each parent supports thier child till either finish and earn to support each other?


This is a novel idea but hindered by entrenched attitudes in our society.
jawad wrote:...What has our community done to solve this? A housing scheme/complex to help this new guys out? A cut down in the traditions (mehndi party etc?) atleast discouraging to this.

This is the million dollar question, community leader’s talk of youth empowerment and that our youth are being lost to the western ideology, but what have they done to facilitate the nourishment of our youth within the community and to encourage then to stay within the bounds of religion.
How does he, whose guardian is Allah, get perished? And how can he, who is being pursued by Allah, get salvation? (Imam Mohammad Taqi (as))

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