studying after marriage

The decision to marry is one of great importance. How early should this decision be made? How early is too early? And everythign else about marriage
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Muntazir Manji
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studying after marriage

Postby Muntazir Manji » 21 Nov 2004, 02:54

Salaam alaikum.

well, among the many concerns youths have today, is the issue of careers and studies. Especially for the females, who are sometimes worried about the age factor.

I believe that, the youths of this generation, should be revolutionary. We live in a different world from yesterday, and thus, we must do way with old customs, and hold fast to religious principles, so that we can face all of the challenges that come along.

We need to build for ourselves a community where men and women are aware of each others rights. A society, in which marriage and careers are not a hinderance to one other, rather partners.

The reason i introduce this topic is that, it is so common in our asian commnities, that girls who are highly talented, have great potential to make a diffrence in their society, had to give up their careers so they wouldnt lose out on the AGE to get married!

On the other hand, Guys, with the potential to be well read and useful members of their society were and are lead astray due to which they also do not give their best to their careers! Why? they needed to get married, because of that natural need! But pressure from family - STUDY FIRST THEN GET MARRIED-made them go astray!

Education is a vital ingredient of today's life, it should be considered as an integral and not a separate aspect of life. Nothing, be it marriage or anything else should be an obstacle towards our educational ambitions.

Let us take the initiative to make a difference in our lives. With the ultimate aim of seeking the pleasure of Allah (swt).


Allah says in the Quran, that he will not change the condition of people unless they change their condition first.

Let us join hands to build for ourselves a community, which realises the importance of adhereing to religious principles and neglecting baseless customs. Because, it is these very religious principles that will enable our society to prosper in the real sense.

We face so much opposition from the rest of the world, the best way to combat these forces, is to get educated (men and women) in every field of study, and show the enemy, we have the ability to reach greater heights, because we have adhered to the law of Allah (swt).

Allah's laws recommend that every man and woman must seek education (knowledge). While it is strongly recommended for a woman to take care of her domestic duties, this has not been made wajib on her.

Guys and Girls, its about time we limited our talents to getting a job, a wife and voila! stable life! NO! Lets wake up, and face the world in the eye.

We are the army of Imam mahdi (as) let us make him proud of ourselves. If every person tries to do a little bit.. alot will be done.

These are my opinions, feel free to commnet.

Muntazir Manji
"live the life of this world as if it were to never end, prepare for the hereafter as if this life were to end tomorrow" Imam Ali (as)
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Tanveer
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YOU ARE RIGHT!

Postby Tanveer » 21 Nov 2004, 11:13

Salaams Br.Muntazir Manji
You are absolutely right about each and every thing that you have written....Thank-you for sharing this....But the awareness now has increased and slowly your idea has also started seeping into the minds of the youths of our community.As we can see these days that both the husband and the wife continue with their education even after marriage.We have examples of a couple of Doctors who have gone for their Masters Degree or Phd. after god-knows-how many years of marriage while their kids have also started secondary education.Women too these days after marriage continue with their studies.So we can slowly see the changes in our community.The best thing i liked was to see that a male had commented on such an issue.All this time we have been seeing females arguing about this.No offense meant ...please....but it is very good to see that the young males are also realizing the importance of education for women just as Syed Hayder Bahr-al-Uloom had mentioned in one of his lectures that infact educating a woman was more important than educating a man...since when you educate a man, you educate ONE person but educating a woman means educating a WHOLE NATION.I have written an article titled MARRIAGE AND EDUCATION....but the magazine itself is not out and once it is, I would request you to go through it and I am open to critics although I hope I don't get any... :)
I would like to share the article in this forum but I think we should wait for the magazine to be published first.Thank-you once again for sharing this thought-provoking and eye-opening message.
~Tanveer~
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Marriage and Education...

Postby Tanveer » 12 Jan 2005, 20:20

As promised, I would now like to share the article in this forum since the magazine is out...

In order to understand the topic "Marriage and Education", we have to have a clear picture of what marriage is all about and what is education.
The Holy Prophet (s.a.w) has said: "Seek knowledge from the cradle to the grave." And so, I will start off with education since we are not told to get married from the cradle (as the people in the olden days used to do).

Education is the most important thing in life and this is something that we have been hearing over and over again. It is a key to a successful life and it is also a key to a successful marriage. With education in your hand, you can save a falling marriage and improve a wrecked life. With education, you can bring up your children in the most exemplary manner.

If you strive for education, you will be able to conquer the world. And the hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world. Education for women is as important as it is for men. Infact, it is more important because if you educate a man, you educate one person but educating a woman means educating a whole nation.

Unfortunately, most women mix up education with career and cannot differentiate the two. They feel that if you have had an education in a particular field, after completion of that education, you HAVE to put that into practice by working. And they take that as something obligatory.

Most of us do not realize that the real reason behind our education is to be able to view things positively and broaden our outlook towards life.

Most people believe that one cannot study after marriage. They say it's just IMPOSSIBLE. When you ask them "why" they feel that way, most of them would answer saying that "Marriage has too many responsibilities...you have to manage the house, cook, look after your husband, in-laws, etc, etc. One thing that I have noticed about such people is that, when they are not ready to face reality, they will give you all the excuses on earth just to prove their point. No matter how lame the excuse might be. Personally, I've had many arguments with my own classmates about this matter and I have always been one against all of them. Most of my mates believed (and they still do) that "you cannot study after marriage...". They believe that with all those 'responsibilities' on one's shoulders, one cannot concentrate on studies. Others say that "study after marriage? You must be sick! We gota enjoy ourselves man...who would want to study after marriage? It'd take all the fun out of life..."

If we realize the importance of education and have the ambition to strive for it, no obstacle can stop us and marriage in fact, should not be an obstacle in its way. In our culture, we get married at a decent age of 18-23 (for girls) and this is the time when we are at the peak of education. As such, a boy/girl should continue to study if he/she so wishes. In fact, if the boy.girl has not acquitted any education, then the husband/wife should encourage his/her spouse to continue to study and qualify in his/her respective field.

We have examples of girls/boys in our own community who are married and they still continue with their education. They don't think that since they are married now, then it's good-bye to education. We have a doctor married to a doctor.We have a pharmacist married to a doctor and she is still continuing with her course and she says she has no problem with her education or her marriage life at all since her husband and in-laws are so supportive. "Infact, I feel like I was at my mother's place" she once told my friend.

Cooking and household duties are not such a burden as husband and in-laws are no babies to be spoon-fed. In fact, if they are educated, they would in no way be a burden or a responsibility but instead an encouraging force. Yes, responsibility starts when there is a baby around and an educated mother would definitely know where to stop and when to continue with her studies.

If education (no matter which type) plays an important role in the family, even the children of that particular house will be affected by it and they will mature early in life with a positive outlook and a mature disposition resulting into an intellectual human being. This will help our society propser spiritually and mentally.
~Tanveer~

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