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The decision to marry is one of great importance. How early should this decision be made? How early is too early? And everythign else about marriage

Would you ever do Muta?

Yes
7
70%
No
1
10%
Not sure
2
20%
User avatar
By qarrar
#7165
hasin wrote:Mahr is necessary, but does not need to be in monetary terms. It can be anything of value. for example, a box of chocolates.
Dunno how well this would go down.... :roll:
User avatar
By Muntazir
#7493
Bismillahir-Rahmanir-Rahim

As Salaamu ‘aleykum

We have been discussing about Mut’a a lot, and most of the times these questions repeat and we hardly discuss on anything else apart from the common questions. So let us now try discussing on something different.

Here are a few questions

Q. It has been really long since we’ve been talking about how “our community is laid back when it comes to Mut’a”; tell me, is anybody really expecting a “fatwa” from our Jamaat allowing Mut’a? I don’t think so.

My question is, if one really wants to follow this right step, keeping oneself away from committing sins, how would he/she take this step on the first place?

1. Under what conditions would he/ she prepare for Mut’a?
2. How would the person approach the opposite sex and propose for this right act?
3. If Islam doesn’t allow communicating between men and women, how will they approach each other on the first place?
4. If they do, will they have committed a sin?
5. How do they ask each other to get involved in Temporary Marriage? (Surely, they both must be really shy to make a move)
6. Is He supposed to ask her, or is it her?
7. How should the one asked react after being approached?
8. How do they plan to ask their parents?
9. If they do agree, where would the Mut’a take place?
10. Should it be like a Marriage ceremony?
11. Should the family members be invited or not?
12. Where would they plan to live?
13. Should they rent a house? Live on their own? Take a trip to Zanzibar? Live with their own parents? OR, Live with the guy’s parents?
14. How would the first night be like? Honeymoon or like any other night?
15. Does she has to go back home after the first night? (Like girls do after the first night in Permanent Marriage)
16. Does the guy pick her up anytime he wants after school or office?
17. Can he drop her to Masjid? (If there’s a Majlis)
18. Can they go to Nima’s for juice on Friday, Saturday or Sunday night when people are countless in number?
19. Should they worry about their reputation, or how people would talk about them?
20. Can they tell their friends about it?


Let us all share our ideas, and everybody should try answering all these questions if possible. Look for scholarly answers if possible, but try making it short and simple as we all know what happens then.

I hope this topic doesn’t offend anybody. And if it does, please ask me to delete it.


Thank you.


Muntazir Al Mahdi
User avatar
By abuali
#7503
Alaykum Salaam

Interesting questions Muntazir...really sensitive too.

Primarily because Muta is not very 'elegant' in our community and because some people can use info such as the muta between a man and woman as fitna to make a mark on their reputation, I feel the lesser people know, the better for both the parties.

Since according to sharia, the single girls' father or paternal grandfather is the only person whose permission is needed, i feel he is the only person who needs to know.

But then again...thats my opinion.
User avatar
By qarrar
#8176
Salaams,

I found this interesting article about Mutah, should clear a few legal problems out, about social stigma that is another matter altogether.
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Mut'ah

Fixed-Term or Temporary Marriage are different names for the Arabic word of "Mut'a" which is a contract between a man and woman, much in the same way the Long-Term/Permanent/Conventional Marriage is. The main difference is that the temporary marriage longs only for a specified period of time, and man and woman will become stranger to each other after the expiration date without divorce. One misconception regarding temporary marriage is that some people think that the woman engaged in temporary marriage can have contract every other hour. This is completely misrepresentation of temporary marriage. After such contract has been expired, the woman has to wait for two months (Iddah) before which she can not marry any one else. This issue, among others, will be discussed later in detail. Besides, there are many other conditions for performing Muta as well.

The first one who legislated Mut'a with all the rules pertaining to it, was the Messenger of Allah (PBUH&HF), after it was revealed in Quran. All Muslims agree that the Messenger of Allah legislated Mut'a and made it legal after his migration to Medina, and the Muslims practiced it during his lifetime. (see al-Mughni, by Ibn Qudamah, v6, p644, 3rd Edition). However there is a disagreement between the Shia and most of the Sunnis concerning whether the Prophet later banned it or not. Most Sunnis assert that although the Prophet legislated it, he later forbade it. This is while the Shia believe that temporary marriage was never abandoned by the Prophet (PBUH&HF). Besides no Quranic verse was revealed to ban the previous Quranic verse which made Muta legitimate, and Hadith can not oppose Quran. Allah revealed it in Quran, and it was being widely practiced to the end of his lifetime and during the period of Abu Bakr and the early days of Umar's rule, until Umar forbade it.

Allah, to whom belong Might and Majesty, said: (...Except the forbidden women) the rest are lawful unto you to seek them with gifts from your property (i.e., dowry), provided that you desire protection (from sin), not fornication. So for whatever you have had of pleasure (Istamta'tum) with them by the contract, give unto them their appointed wages as a duty. And there is no sin for you in what you both agree (in extending the contract) after fulfilling the (first) duty. Lo! Allah is ever Knower, Wise. (Quran 4:24)

In the above verse, the Arabic equivalent of the word "marriage" or any of its derivatives has NOT been used. Rather the derivative of word "Mut'a" (pleasure/temporary marriage) has been used, i.e., "Istamta'tum". The word Istamta'a is the tenth verbal form of the root m-t-a. As we will show shortly, the word Istamta'a has also been widely used in the authentic Sunni collections for Temporary Marriage. Of course, Mut'a is one type of marriage, but some of it's regulations are different than the permanent marriage, including the fact that the couple can extend this contract by mutual agreement as the end of verse specifies.

Moreover, if we look at the Sunni commentaries of Quran, many Sunni scholars such as Fakhr al-Razi confirm that the above verse (4:24) was revealed about the Temporary Marriage (Mut'a). They straightforwardly mentioned that temporary marriage became Halaal (permitted) DUE TO the above verse, but they assert that it was later prohibited. It is astonishing that many Sunni commentators mentioned under the above verse that: Ali said: The Mut'a is a mercy from Allah to his servants. If it were not for Umar forbidding it, no one would commit (the sin) of fornication except the wretched (Shaqi; an utmost wrong-doer)." Tafsir al-Kabir, by al-Tha'labi, under commentary of verse 4:24 of Quran; - Tafsir al-Kabir, by Fakhr al-Razi, v3, p200, commentary of verse 4:24;


A very similar tradition has also been narrated by Ibn Abbas (RA), and was mentioned by al-Tabari and al-Tha'labi in their Tafsir of Quran. It is interesting to note that Umar did not attribute the prohibition of Mut'a to the Prophet (PBUH&HF). They were others who did that after Umar mainly to justify what he did. Umar clearly mentioned that: "Mut'a WAS permitted at the time of the Prophet and I PROHIBIT it!" The great Sunni scholar, Fakhr al-Razi, who has been given the title of "Imam al-Mushakkikeen" (the leader of ever-questioners/ever-doubtful) by the Sunnis, in his voluminous commentary of Quran mentioned under the verse of Temporary Marriage that: Umar said: Two types of Mut'a were (legal) during the time of the Prophet and I forbid them both, and I punish those who commit it. They are: Mut'a of pilgrimage and Mut'a of women. Tafsir al-Kabir, by al-Fakhr al-Razi, v3, p201 under verse 4:24 - Musnad Ahmad Ibn Hanbal, v1, p52

Also in another Sunni commentary it is reported that: Umar said, while on the pulpit: "O folk! Three were (allowed) during the time of the Messenger of Allah (PBUH&HF), and I forbid them, and make them Haraam, and punish on them. They were: Mut'a of women, Mut'a of Hajj (pilgrimage), and saying 'Hayya Ala Khair al-Amal'." Sharh Al-Tajreed, by al-Fadhil al-Qoshaji, (Imama Section) - al-Mustaniran, by al-Tabari

Remark: The third item mentioned above which was prohibited by Umar, is what is said in the Call for Prayer and Iqaamah after the phrase "Hayya Ala al-Falah", and it is practiced by the Shia to this date. It means "Hasten for the best deed". This part of call for prayer was abolished by Umar as well. Instead, he replaced it by the sentence: "Prayer is better than sleep"!

Who could we find better that Jabir Ibn Abdillah al-Ansari (RA), the great companion of the Prophet, who according to Sahih Muslim said: "Istamta'a means contracting temporary marriage" (Sahih Muslim, English version, v2, chapter DXLI titled: Temporary Marriage, Tradition #3246. Please see part II for the full Arabic text of the tradition).

Jabir did NOT relate "Istamta'a" to consuming the marriage in general. Furthermore, in the verse 4:24 Allah states, "...And there is no sin for you in what you both agree after fulfilling the duty (i.e., dowry of the first contract)". The mutual agreement after the duty refers to extending the period of temporary marriage after full payment of the previous dower, so that the woman can freely decide on the continuation of the marriage with no pressure or temptation. In this way, Allah encourages that people who are engaged in Mut'a will get more reward if they extend it to a bigger period (or perhaps convert it to a permanent marriage) by assigning a new dower after fulfilling the previous dower. Tafsir al-Tabari, by Ibn Jarir al-Tabari, under the verse 4:24, v8, p180.

Another reason for the fact that the dowry mentioned in the above verse does not refer to permanent marriage, is that Quran has already talked about the dowry for permanent marriage at the early part of the very same chapter by saying: 4:3 "...Marry women of your choice two or three or four; but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly (with them) then only one..." 4:4: "And give the women (of permanent marriage) their dower as a free gift"

It is clear that the above verses are about permanent marriage and the dowry associated with it. So there would be no need that Allah repeats it along with its associated dowry again in the very same chapter. However if Allah intended to discuss about Mut'a, then it is some thing new. And this can be inferred from the choice of words which Allah used in the verse of Mut'a (4:24) by using the derivative of Mut'a in contrast with the other verses around it.

Allah is discussing different types of marriages: first, permanent marriage in the verses before Verse 24, then temporary marriage in Verse 24, and then marriage with the slave girls in Verse 25. Thus Allah repeated the issue of dowry three times, one for permanent marriage, one for temporary marriage and one for the bondwomen.

Also many Sunni commentary books mentioned similar to the tradition of Sahih al-Bukhari (see part II) with more details and put it under the verse 4:24 of Quran: Imran Ibn Husain narrated: "The verse of Mut'a (4:24) was revealed in Allah's Book, and there did NOT came any other verse after that to abrogate it; and the Prophet ORDERED US to do it, so we did it at the time of Allah's Apostle, and he did not forbade us from it till he died. But a man (who regarded it illegal) expressed what his own mind suggested." Tafsir al-Kabir, by al-Tha'labi, under commentary of verse 4:24 of Quran

It is narrated that: Abu Nadhra said: Ibn Abbas (RA) recited the verse 4:24 with the addition of "to an appointed time". I said to him: "I did not read it this way." Ibn Abbas replied: "I swear by Allah, this is how Allah revealed it," and Ibn Abbas repeated this statement three times." Tafsir al-Kabir, by Ibn Jarir al-Tabari, under the verse 4:24, v8, p177, Tradition #9038

This verse was revealed towards the beginning of the Prophet's stay in Medina. By the revelation of this verse, the temporary marriage became a legal custom in Medina and was looked upon as one kind of marriage and was referred to by the term Istimta'a, the same word employed in the Quranic verse - even though the literal meaning of the word is "to seek benefit" or "to take enjoyment". Hence the meaning of the Quranic verse must be understood in terms of the conventional usage of the time, for as is well-known in the science of Quranic commentary and Islamic jurisprudence, the Quran follows the conventional usage of the people in all edicts and legal prescriptions. If someone wants to understand a word in the Quran in other than the conventional meaning of the time, he must supply a strong reason for doing so. Moreover if one looks up the traditions of the chapter of temporary marriage in the authentic Sunni collections such as Sahih al-Bukhari and Sahih Muslim, one can see that the messenger of Allah and his companions exactly used the word Istimta'a when referring to this contract, which is exactly the same word as what Quran employed.

As was indicated above, the Sunnis agree that at the beginning of Islam Mut'a was permitted. For example, Fakhr al-Din al-Razi (d. 606/1209), the famous Sunni theologian, writes in his Commentary on the Quran that Mut'a was at first permitted. The Prophet made a lesser pilgrimage (Umrah) to Mecca, and the women of Mecca made themselves up especially for the occasion. Some of the Companions complained about the long separation from their wives, and the Prophet replied: "Then go and enjoy (Istamta'a) these women." (Tafsir al-Kabir, by Fakhr al-Razi, v3, p286)

The Imam Ja'far was asked: "If the wife becomes pregnant as a result of Mut'a, to whom does the child belong?" He replied: "To the father," i.e., the child is legitimate. (Wasa'il al-Shia, v14, p488)

Ibn Abbas was asked: "Is Mut'a fornication or marriage?" He answered: 'Neither the one nor the other.' The questioner then asked: "Well then, what is it?" Ibn Abbas replied: "It is Mut'a', just as God has said." The questioner continued: "Is there a waiting period in Mut'a?" He replied: "Yes, a menstrual period." He was also asked: "Do the husband and wife inherit from each other?" He answered: "No." Reference: Tafsir al-Kabir, by Fakhr al-Razi, v3, p286

The Imam Ja'far (AS) considered Mut'a a divine mercy by means of which people were saved from the sin of fornication and delivered from God's retribution. Concerning the Quranic verse: "Whatsoever mercy God opens to men, none can withhold (35:2)," the Imam said: "Mut'a is part of that mercy." (Wasa'il al-Shia, v14, p439).


For Futher Detail On Muttah Marraige Visit to http://www.mutah.com
By peaceful_soul
#10270
Salaams
Okay I m really confused about this whole muta thing
I know that in our culture muta is done when 2 people get engaged so that they can talk and get to know each other
Well I was just wondering if this was the only case when muta is allowed when u have an intention of marriage
Or for example
I donno if I m getting this right coz I m not sure if I know the correct Islamic ruling

A girl needs permission from her dad to get married or to do muta with some one right?
also let say a gril was married and she got a divorce then if she want to get married to some one else dose she also need her fathers permission or is it only required for the first tiem she is getting married

And a boy doesn’t ??? I really dont understand that !!!

Any ways I was talking to some ppl about muta and I heard that a married man can have muta with another woman without his wifes permission !!!!!!
Is this true or is this just a cultural thingy ????

Also I was told well all u have to do is in ur marriage contract say that u don’t want him to have muta with anyone else then he cant

But it still doesn’t make sense to me
y would such a rule exist if u could just use another rule to nullify it

plz help coz I m so confused
thanks

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