Parents & Careers

When I grow up I am going to be ...an Accountant? a Doctor? a Pharmacist? a Programmer? This is the place to tell us about your choice and the reasons for your choice, and to seek advice from others.

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keenfarhan
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Parents & Careers

Postby keenfarhan » 22 Feb 2007, 18:28

Something ive seen in the recent times is that a lot of parents still directly or indirectly influence greatly the careers their children choose often even without the true consent of the children themselves...

With all due respect to parents.. i wanted to know the views of other people about this.. Do you think it is right for parents to sort of force careers on to the children saying that they know better about life...

I mean i feel that certainly parents must have a contribution in the future decisions of the children but do you think this should upto a level that the child must agree even if he/she feels otherwise?
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Postby Muhammad Mahdi » 22 Feb 2007, 20:38

I dont think it is right that parents force their children to a certain career. However, since most of the parents have gone through the stage, they may have learnt things by their mistakes, hence do not want the kids to fall to a similar fate.
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Postby qarrar » 23 Feb 2007, 04:32

I will only be able to answer best from my own experience. After I had finished my form four and was particularly enjoying life I was suggested a range of career options by my parents. None of their suggestions appealed to me but I always also had the option of choosing a viable career for myself and that’s what I did in the end. Had it not been for my parents initial push especially from my mother I would not have been where I am today and trust me I cannot thank them enough.

Notice I use the word viable career above….this is because I was recently talking to someone from Dar about their future career moves and I was told that they wanted to become like those people in ‘Pimp my ride’ (its an American show dunno how many of you have watched it). This according to me is not a viable career option, though I could be wrong depends on your car enthusiasm and the depth of your pocket (or parents pocket).

What I am trying to get across is that parents will always have their children’s best interests at heart and when the child disagrees with the parents choice of careers for him then the child should just calmly sit with the parents and explain to them why they think so. Objectively justify your reasons….I am sure they will listen.
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Postby keenfarhan » 23 Feb 2007, 14:43

i completely agree with u qaraar but believe me there r some parents who at times dont listen... i speak from experience... ive seen friends who've wasted a lot of time in their lives because their parents wanted them to take a career that their heart wasnt in...

I just feel that parents should try to be as flexible as possible and at times let their children choose...
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Postby Mazhar » 23 Feb 2007, 15:10

Salams
Sometimes it does happen that one chooses a career without being interested in the field in the least due to the pressure of parents but heres the deal one could whine abt it for the rest of ones life or simply accept ones fate and get on with life i know its easier said than done but one could try n one can never know that it might just have been the right move
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Postby keenfarhan » 23 Feb 2007, 15:34

Believe me man... u dont wanna be stuck up ur whole life with a career that u dont like... its very much near to spending ur whole life with a wife that u dont like.. a career is very much like a spouse...

Ofcourse if ur already in that situation then u pretty much wont have a choice but to get on with whatever u have got... but y reach that situation when u can avoid it? Taking up a career that u dont like lowers ur chances of success greatly man.. if u dont like what u do ull never use ur skills to the maximum
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Postby qarrar » 23 Feb 2007, 15:44

keenfarhan wrote:...u dont wanna be stuck up ur whole life with a career that u dont like... its very much near to spending ur whole life with a wife that u dont like..


I’ll have to agree with you on the point above. I have received my share of bad career advice but the best I one I ever got had said this me: do something that you are passionate about, this passion should be something that ought to motivate you to get out of bed in the morning and make you want to go to work. Well if this doesn’t exist than imagine many years of something you don’t like. :shock:
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Postby keenfarhan » 23 Feb 2007, 15:49

Exactly my point... i must say that certainly is the best advice on careers that anyone can get... and this is where the problem comes... although most of the time the parents are thinking and wishing well for their children they forget that ( atleast the way i feel ) no one can know you better than yourself.. so its better if the final choice is left to the child him/herself
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Postby qarrar » 23 Feb 2007, 15:57

keenfarhan wrote:.. so its better if the final choice is left to the child him/herself


This also has its pitfalls. If it’s the parents who are paying for an expensive education abroad (which is usually the case) or even locally then they should have a say, don’t you think? Now for example if someone is interested in theatre studies and wishes to study abroad then intents to come back to Tanzania, then if I were the parents I would simply say NO.
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Postby keenfarhan » 23 Feb 2007, 16:05

The final say of the children should come after he/she and the parnets have already sat and talked about all the choices and the conditions involved. The child im sure ( or hope) would be considerate enough if the parents are giving him/her a say...

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